Eddie felt as if he flew. He experienced none of Jay’s crazed nightmares, had no flashbacks of his own terrible abused childhood, nothing about the pervert priest and not even a glimpse of Big Shiv climbing down off the top bunk. He was surprised, relieved, to feel himself flying across a starry bank of clouds in the form of a bald eagle, a bald eagle with an afro…

He and Jay appeared at the base of a lightning bolt on a cloudy overcast day. They were on a hill, much like the hill they had been camped on with the Neanderthals. Nasty, naked Jay had his sheath knife in hand, his sheath strapped to his leg. Eddie was still dressed in his casual threads and Converse Allstars, now stained red. Jay seemed edgy and uncomfortable as they looked at each other and then looked down into the valley below at the plastic looking town that seemed somehow like a Christmas garden in summer under a gray sky; that is if the Christmas garden town had been designed by a comic book artist.

“Well Jay-bone, what’s next?”

“Three-Rivers wants us ta go to DeeCee. I figure he wants us there soon, so we ain’t walkin’. There must be a means of transportation below in that cheesy lookin’ town.”

Eddie then made a sweeping bow, “Carry on then Sir Jay-Bone, Eddie Scientific will follow your scary buck-nekked ass whereva ya lead Yo!”

They jogged on down the meticulously manicured trail to the town below. Within minutes they were walking along rubberized turf that reminded him of some rich English dude’s giant ping-pong court. The houses looked normal. The thing that struck him as the oddest was the absence of signs, which had been replaced by what looked like gas bubble holograms. There was news on some, weather on others, addresses and advertisements on others. It was all rather mindboggling.

“Jay-bone, this is some weird shit Yo!”

Jay shushed him and continued on toward the strangest aspect of this Tokyo-looking hick town that had very few people, who all seemed distracted by the gas signs. There was a network of steel rails, seemingly suspended above the ground on rubber plugs. Across these rails, which had gas-bubble-sign traffic lights, zoomed people, wearing bodysuits and moonboots.

Wow, a world designed by Michael Jackson!

“Oh, this is some real weird shit Yo.”

Jay ignored him, got his bearings, and then nodded to the rails, “When ya sent me ahead that time, I met this crazy nymph-o cross-dressing chick who rode them rails. It’s the boots, the boots interface with the rails and take you along. I could not outrun the chick. We need to get some of dem boots.”

“Son are you sayin’ you got molested by some cross-dresser?”

Jay gave Eddie ‘the hand’ and continued toward the rail.

“You know son, I ain’t never been an advocate of discrimination. But I think it’s a skill you could benefit from.”

Ignoring Eddie Jay then walked up to a pyramid shaped, plastic box, beneath a gas-bubble-sign that flashed various advertisements for rail-boots: Honda Red-fliers; Corporate Motors Blue-streaks; Nike Tours; Grungicide Gravitons…

There was a hand-print reader and retina scanner. The hand-print reader signed to them to place their hand, and the retina scanner winked at them, and—oh God yo—there was a feminine mouth on the pyramid that spoke to them in a sultry female voice, “For voice recognition purchasing speak clearly.”

An old man was waiting patiently in his wild pink tights for them to get their rail boots. Eddie, always at home in a shoe store, spoke up, “I’d like some Nike Tours, size nine and half wide please.”

The mouth frowned and then took on a motherly tone, “You are not in the HBC database. Please stand aside and await processing.”

He became angry, suddenly pissed off at being discriminated against for being a Person of the 21st Century. He began to cuss and then thought better of it as he stepped aside, “Okay Jay-bone, you from dis messed up time, you get the boots.”

Jay then placed his hand on the handprint and it turned pink and the feminine voice seemed happy, “Welcome Yule Alpha Seven, your Gravitons are authorized on the condition that you seize the unauthorized org awaiting processing at this terminal.”

Jay grabbed Eddie by the neck—“Oh Gawd Yo! That shit be hurtin’!”

A pair of boots were then dispensed through the base of the pyramid housing. The boots seemed to open up as Jay stepped into them and even buckled themselves around his ankles!

In the meantime the female mouth sounded grateful, “Nicely done Yule. Proceed to Cultivation at seventy CPH. Do not exceed the authorized speed with a detainee. Doctor Crawly awaits your deposit. Proceed.”