A big game hunter named John Salevurakis, who writes for Predator Extreme, e-mailed me, in the vein of men of old, with the polite tone of the duelist, not the bickering tone of today’s ‘manosphere’ nerds. John makes the best case I have read for why liberal environmentalists are shallow thinkers, and why one of Man’s very first occupations—perhaps his first, although masturbation might have been just ahead of hunting in the use of the nifty prehensile thumb—makes sense in terms of conservation, in fact makes the only sense on the subject.

Hey John,

Thanks for the compliment. However, having reread Critter Apocalypse, I was unable to find an objection on my part as to hunting animals. Indeed, I seem to have advocated adding humans to the list! I will stand by that. I would—seriously John—like you to be able to go on human hunts as well. I have done some hunting in my youth, but found I liked fighting men better, which led me to writing about boxing and violence and such. Here are some links to some of my related articles.

As for getting me to finance your prey—dude, I could not afford to load your rifle. Seriously, my boxing gloves are 20 years old and I can only afford this site out of the kindness of donations. I am not complaining, as I am destitute by choice, just noting that I have little money to put where my mouth is.

However, despite the fact that my bank account is the Bangladesh of savings plans, I will promise this, If you can get a non-lethal [I'm being realistic here] urban safari program going, where men with paintballs could hunt hood rats, who would be paid $10 an hour for being prey as opposed to the $8 an hour they get for slinging dope, I will give up a week's worth of low quality groceries and donate my entire food allotment of $20 to the fund. My fat ass could use a fast every once in a while.

In closing, I really liked Predator Extreme [at least the two issues I have read] and thought your article made the most articulate case for hunting as conservation.

If you ever go on a Safari with Lynn Thompson, please remind him that he owes me a free knife in return for the free copy of The Logic of Steel he got from Paladin Press and used as an uncredited source for the Black Belt article he made $250 on. Also tell him I love his products.

Also, in the future I would love to review articles you write if you just give me a heads up.

Another thing, I am heading into my last year or two of competition stick-fighting and would like to appear more menacing to my young foes. Might you have a coyote hide or such that I could drape from my fencing mask as a coif?

Have a happy Thanksgiving Sir

Thanks John.