I dread the holidays, primarily due to the prospect of actually having conversations with the cattle I am related to via our sacred Aryаn bloodline. It is difficult for an anarchic crackpot to get through a conversation at a gathering of inseminated minds without upsetting them. A week ago I found myself at a dinner party that spanned from 25 to 65 years, covered two races, 2 genders, and I think 3 points on the sexual orientation compass.

What were we to talk about?

It turned out that my discourse on the child-eating apocalypse of 1201 in Cairo was a condiment a little too harsh for the red cabbage soup—S. J. to the rescue!

There I sat, wondering if there was anything I could say that would not upset one of the gathered, when my faithful estate manager, who manages the old plantation for his reclusive master virtually for nothing, broke in:

“Okay, let’s say you are on a ship to Mars and you may only take five movies; what five movies would you bring?”

This turned out to be ideal and kept the conversation interesting for hours.

Ground rules:

1. No using smart phones

2. Estimate the year the movie was released, this could be used to keep score if you want to get competitive, but could get your hippie aunt and uncle upset

3. Note the actor or role that stands out

4. What was so great about the movie, which becomes the meat of the discussion

5. The first movie you think of is #1, and so on down the list

The #1 pick for half the table was The Godfather.

My top five raised some eyebrows:

1. Cool Hand Luke with Paul Newman, 1964

2. The Last Valley with Michael Caine and Omar Sharif , 1971

3. Vanishing Point, staring a car, 1974

4. Unforgiven, with Clint Eastwood, 1992

5. Valhalla Rising with Madd Mickelson, 2012

I have surely murdered some of these names and most of the dates will be off. But the fun is doing it off the top of your head, with the game doomed when the first smart phone is deployed.

On Sunday Night I had dinner with Aikira and we decided to add one category, your #1 favorite role. My favorite role, with the best lines in sci-fi film, is Doctor Zaus from Planet of The Apes. The young lady’s list made her blush when she considered it and said, “Your readers will probably think I’m a guy, but oh well:"

1. Kill Bill #2, with David Caradine, 2005

2. Pulp Fiction [she particularly liked Samuel L. Jackson’s character], 1997

3. Dirty Harry, with Clint Eastwood, 1972

4. Star Wars, [the real first movie, not the faɡɡot bullshit prequels], 1977

5. Excaliber, starring the guy that played Nestor in Troy, and featuring the best rape scene in film with Euther neglecting to remove his armor, 1979

Aikira’s favorite part is Hannibal Lecter, played by Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs.

If you would like to list your top 5 films and top role feel free to use the comment function below, and try not to make your Aunt Rose and Uncle Hip cry at Christmas dinner.

For a competitive game when all is done let the kids break out the smart phones and see who came closest to the actual movie release dates.