This episode contains graphic and inappropriate sex. Mom do not read this. And you kid, if you’re under 16, better not get me in any trouble with your liberal do-gooder parents. If you have any questions arising from Jay’s misadventure here do not ask them. Go to the 7-11 and ask the clerk, and bring six bucks with you…

He always managed to be surprised by the depth and breadth of the nightmares and tragic experiences which welled up in random floods to pour his disembodied being into this new incinerator of hope. The more of this he went through the easier and less spooky the actual transit was. Once again he slept the dreamless sleep in transit.

He felt too refreshed to have slept, and remembered it as well.

Perhaps his soul was gaining something from this.

As he was drawn suction-like toward the radiance beyond he could smell flowers that had not yet bloomed, a breeze with a raw metallic quality, and an electric dance beat, low, rhythmic and distant...

He was standing beside a raised stainless steel bar that ran as far as he could see, apparently supported by nothing; no braces, struts, cables. This seemed to connect two very distant clusters of lights.

To his right was a shallow canal of clear water, above which hovered some sort of designer plants, the roots of which dangled two feet to drink the clear water below. The planted canal made a figure-8 pattern over about an acre. About 60 feet overhead was a figure-8 halo of green light with a blue strobe flickering at the nexus. Off in the distance he could see other such halos of green, though none with the flickering strobe.

He now made out the source of the metallic smell. It was a sea-wall behind him about ten feet high and apparently made of plastic. There was not a human or a vehicle in sight.

Wow. Is everybody gone? When did he send me to? Should I ask when or where? It really is a where, isn’t it?

The dance beat came again, no, a rhythmic hum—it’s a magnetic pulse.

A short blonde woman wearing pink plastic clothing was flying along the rail on a pair of moonboots. She stopped beside him, smiled, and unsnapped her boots. She then jumped ass-first at him, and he instinctively caught her. She had the voice of a Catholic school girl. “Oh my, you are as strong as a field-grade military Gen.”

She felt really warm, and unnaturally smooth, apparently not even having the ability to grow body hair. Her hair was soft and wavy looking but it never moved in the breeze. She seemed to have no desire to stand, and just remained cradled in his arms, hanging from his neck, looking into his eyes with eyes of radiant pink!

“My-oh-my, I bet you used to be handsome before you went in for all of these retro-military enhancements. Are you an actor maybe? Are you being augmented to do an action epic?”

She wiggled down out of his arms. It was hard to tell if she was naked, painted, clothed, plated, or what. She had a very voluptuous figure. Whatever she wore fully revealed the shape and texture of her breasts and vagina. She acted like she was perhaps eighteen years old; the kind of girl who used to come to the fights to compare handbags with her friends and then meet up with the fighters in the locker-room. He began to get a semi and then realized that he was completely naked.

As he was want to do in certain circumstances he spoke—not out loud—to his penis. They were on a first-name basis. But, since Jay liked to think he was in charge, he referred to his penis as Private Johnson.

Don’t go stiff on me Private Johnson.

Sir, go to Hell, Sir.

Her voice was saucy and suddenly seemed husky, like it belonged to an older woman, “My, someone is glad to see Miss Astoria! That is quite a nice enhancement package! Let me guess, that’s the White Stallion Three-sixty! I’m so glad I came to check on my water plants!”

Before he could say anything she was gagging on his hard cock.

This is totally the best blowjob you have ever had hillbilly. She’s completely naked—and painted.

As the sex act continued Miss Astoria’s D-cups expanded steadily to triple-Gs, and her hair color changed from blonde to red. She stopped right before he came and looked up into his eyes with bright green glassy eyes and a wide excited smile. “What is your name?”

“Jay.”

“Bend me over and fuck me Jay.”

As this seemed like a perfectly appropriate use of an already deployed weapon, Jay saw no need to lose another pointless argument with the ravenous and insubordinate Private Johnson.

After an hour or so of intercourse that would have been savage even by Big Mama’s standards, Miss Astoria rolled over onto her back, sporting only perky B-cups and regarded him with deep black eyes, and an even huskier voice, “That was wonderful. It’s my turn Jay.”

With that comment she gave a sly grin and a wink, and pressed her belly button. From her painted groin, where once reposed a most luxuriant mound of labial flesh, grew a massive black penis, fully erect! To his horror Miss Astoria started to look more and more like a soccer pro from Ghana.

Jay stood and clenched his fists as he felt his eyes pop out of his head, and did the only thing he could do under the circumstances, scream!!!

His earth-shaking chick-like scream of sexual horror was still echoing through the sky as he sprinted for the horizon along the rail, with Mister, and/or Miss, Astoria, zipping along besides him on his or her magnetic boots showing off different penis and facial packages. For some reason ‘Pakistani dude with an Eskimo dick’ seemed particularly revolting. Jay ran like Hell for what must have been hours and Miss Astoria finally relented, “Okay Jay, how do you like this; Vietnamese from the neck up, Swedish from neck to navel, and African American gymnast from the waist down?”

She then posed cutely with her hands on her hips, “How about it; all female, all day, all the way…Jay”

He was too winded to talk but did stop to take a look.

Private Johnson at ease!

Sir, sorry Sir, but this is a mutiny. Sir, we won’t tell anyone…

Jay was too shaken up, and well, numb, from his experience with Miss Astoria, to even remember what he told Eddie. He did however remember what not to tell Eddie. Big Mama was curious though, sniffing the air around Jay and snorting at Little Girl and grinning widely at Eddie. Before he knew it he was back on Eddie Scientific’s Magic Rainbow for what he was promised would be his last experimental trip through Time.