I was shopping after work, going to the Filipino liquor store to get a six pack. There were these two younger white guys with beards—young punk guys who have not really earned the right to wear a beard and just come off looking scruffy. Anyways, I walk by them and nod respectfully, give them a little smile. Then they start talking loud enough for me to overhear it about how good it would feel to beat some guy down and bloody his face.

I know you stress avoidance. But I was mad. This is the first time in many years that white guys have threatened me. I’ve grown so used to blacks packing up and hunting me and cops harassing me, that this took me off guard and pissed me off—really pissed me off. So I went verbal, said, “I don’t think that’s going to go the way you think,” and kept walking to the counter.

I’m feeling okay about inside the liquor store because I know the guys that work there; they are always nice to me and I’m a regular. But now I’m wondering if these guys will take that as an invitation and follow me. I’m feeling confident [Dom is a low-ranking member of a prominent BJJ club.] but what if they are kick boxers? They could be anybody. So I grabbed my pocket light and held it like this, and figured I’d stab them in the head with it.

My question is, did I screw up by mouthing off, and what is the best way to use this pocket light as a weapon?

Okay, these sound like two emasculated travesties of poorly-white-identified modern life masquerading as predatory black guys. If they were black—thus being part of a culture that builds cohesion and develops aggression along feminine verbal lines—you should not have mouthed off. That would have made it worse.

But with two whiggers in a business run by brown Asians there is nothing for them to build confrontationally unless you went into the Stupid Zone and kept running your mouth, which would have pushed you into the Boned Zone.

As for the pocket light, at seven inches and of composite material you want to use it to knock in temples and eyes. Use the lamp end as a butt for pummeling—which is never really effective unless you have a medieval sword or gladius—and the narrow back end to stab with. Stab light hard targets—face, side of head, ribs. Hopefully they think they just got stabbed—because they will feel the pocket light where they would not feel a knife, and run off holding the imaginary stab wound. Stab with hammer grip or saber grip on the outside line so they don’t see your hand. Guard and check with your rear hand with the weapon in a low lead and sneak them.

Good luck Dom, and Don’t Get Boned!

Dom is Dominick Mattero, a friend of mine from New York who is the creator of Hemavore. He has just sent me two more installments of that novel to post tonight and tomorrow. Check his work out here: