“Mister LaFond I saw in your author’s notes an outline for a book titled The Most Evil Presidents. Will it be forthcoming, and if not, who were they? Also, who were the best presidents?”
I have scrapped the plans for writing that tome Alan, because I find the subject matter unworthy. The only two real men who ever ruled this emasculated money nation were Andrew Jackson and Teddy Roosevelt, and they do not rank among the most evil, so I have lost interest.
I shall first point out that America is a nation; and that a nation is a macroparasitic social organism that has only two vital functions:
1. the subjugation of a people or peoples into a pliable mass of ruled chattel
2. the extortion of the people it rules
Other fun activities such as jacking up rival nations and acquiring more subjugated humans to extort are merely expressions of this nature. The nation is an evil beast. So, by necessity, the nation must be ruled by an evil man. Generally speaking the more evil the ruler the more effective his rule. So the most evil president will necessarily be the most effective president at subjugating and extorting his human chattel. There is therefore no need to make two separate lists.
As the U.S. is an ongoing concern; indeed a living social organism that has long outlived any of its founding human components, and has attained the most absolute dominion over the most humans in history, I will rank the most evil presidents chronologically, keeping in mind it has been an ongoing collaboration between the living and the dead. Look, the U.S. has something like 120 vassal [slave] nations. It does not just control you and I, but many a lesser evil social organism—Liberia for instance. Only China and Russia and there few vassals remain outside its orbit.
The Most Evil Presidents: 1783-2015
7. George Washington.
George possessed a character perfect for a colonial slave master of his time, and by giving up the reins of power after two terms established the long-lived fiction that the office of the American Autarch is a benign post and earned deification. He is the American God.
6. Abraham Lincoln
Old Abe proved that the best thing that can happen to a nation whose people believe themselves to be free, is to have some of them try to prove it by going their own way. Since the rein of Abraham every separatist movement—no matter how great or how small—has done vastly more to strengthen the nation than the separatists ever dreamed of accomplishing for their own cause through separation. He is the American Christ.
5. Woodrow Wilson
Wilson broke the American nation’s Covenant with its people; being a promise to stay out of European wars. He also oversaw the inception of police state apparatus, and guaranteed the complete suicide of Europe through his war mongering. In terms of sheer accomplishments Wilson is probably deserving of the #1 slot. However, the nature of the American national beast is more cumulative than most nations, as its dunce citizenry fancies itself as free.
4. Theodore Roosevelt
Ivar the Boneless must have been tossing and turning in Valhalla to find out that some prissy rich boy had become the most powerful gimp in human history. The Social Security act put the finishing touches on the extended family, accelerating the alienation of the citizenry that had been begun by industrialization and public schooling. He also put a fork in Europe; finishing the dysgenic flambé that the Kaiser had started and which old Woody Wilson had thrown kerosene on.
3. Harry Truman
Harry nuked the Japs—enough said, and the world was watching.
2. LBJ
Autarch B-Jay gets extra credit for having his brat boss murdered. But his great contribution was signing off on the Great Society programs that guaranteed a permanent and increasingly violent underclass. Also, making rich Americans richer by taxing the shit out of the regular Joe and sending his son to die in Asian rice paddies, set the stage for our current criminalized society and mercenary military.
1. Barak Obama
The Prince of Darkness raised more money for his election campaign than any previous presidential candidate. That alone makes him the greatest president in American history, for America is, after all, just a British trading post that revolted and has successfully pretended to be a country ever since. America is about the money and the Prince of Darkness brought the biggest knot roll to the table. He has since presided over thousands of unauthorized combat deployments to nearly 100 nations, possibly resulting in American soldiers dying in a wider variety of locations during his rein than Roosevelt’s. He has also presided over a vast gap expansion between the rich and poor —which is an autarch’s primary duty—and has actually utilized the police state apparatus put in place a century earlier; holding more uncharged political prisoners than any tyrant since Lincoln.
There you have it Alan, Barak Obama has done more to expand and improve the government of the United States, at the expense of its witless and deserving dupes, than any of the dozens of evil men who preceded him. I would be remiss though, if I did not remind the reader that he stood on the shoulders of giants in his pursuit of greatness, and has succeeded largely due to their ancient crimes.
James, I think perhaps you should move George Washington higher up on your list. He truly was a badass.
“George Washington named Britain's greatest ever foe. The American was voted the winner in a contest run by the National Army Museum to identify the country's most outstanding military opponent.”
telegraph.co.uk/history/9204961/George-Washington-named-Britains-greatest-ever-foe.html
"He’ll save the children, but not the British children."
bing.com/videos/search?q=george+washington+rap&FORM=VIRE3
Thanks for the links Jeremy. I'll check them out.
I would argue that the list could be inverted, with the earlier presidents being greater men as they had less to work with. I decided on rating them for unadjusted effect, since we were talking about evil and spreading it over ever more people.
However, throw all the presidents into a pit and have them fight, and it would be Jackson, Washington and Teddy left standing on the pile. I think the current top man would be hiding under George Bush Senior's body like a chick in a horror movie.
Yeah James, I concur! My money is on Theodore Roosevelt to win the Great All-time Presidential Cage Death Match Tournament. TR was well schooled in both boxing and Jiu Jitsu. Although Washington and Lincoln were said to be skilled practitioners of various folk wrestling styles and so cannot be counted out. Anyway Jackson, Washington and TR are the Presidents who are known to have actually killed people, pulled the trigger on someone man to man, so they would definitely be the ones to watch. As for the rest of the Presidents I have no such information on them, even the ones who served in the military. Serving in the military can mean that you are willing to die, but not necessarily that you are willing to kill. U.S. Grant, for example, though a successful general and lauded for frequently being seen up front in the thick of battle, was known to never carry a weapon and to get sick to his stomach at the sight of blood. He also had a tendency to get falling down drunk whenever he was separated from his wife. A peccadillo that got him kicked out of the Army as a young officer after the Mexican War. Probably not a good bet then.
Anyway a cage match Between Barrack Obama and Vladimir Putin, would be the one to see. World-wide pay per view, winner take all! Being the jingoistic myrmidon that I am, I would much rather see America go out with a bang rather than a whimper, win or lose. "Who is here so vile that will not love his country?" -Julius Caesar: Act 3, Scene 2, William Shakespeare. America, Fuck Yeah!
youtube.com/watch?v=MGQaH3-LK54