The following document was passed on to me by hand, and has been making its way through the photocopiers of grocery stores for years it seems by the fade of the toner. I have not checked all of the information, and am just throwing it out there as something for the readership to kick around. I suppose the message is, when you start up your meth lab, don’t do it across the street from a theater, and don’t bring on anybody named Johnson as your second man. I would like to see a debate over the veracity and significance of this information between Jeremy Bentham and the ancient astronaut guy with the Max Headroom-as-Einstein hair.

Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846

Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946

Lincoln was elected President in 1860

Kennedy was elected president in 1960

Their names each have seven letters

Both were shot on Friday, in the head

Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy

Kennedy’s secretary was named Lincoln

Both were succeeded by Southerners

Both were assassinated by Southerners

Both successors were named Johnson

Andrew Johnson succeeded Lincoln

Lyndon Johnson succeeded Kennedy

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939

Both assassins have fifteen letters in their names and were known by all three names.

Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse;

Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.

Both were assassinated before trial