“The gym is good but it is hard to find MEN to train with. I literally cannot find men to spar with and the ones I do find are green when it comes to combat arts. Such is the nature of our emasculated culture.”

-Sean

The quote above, from a friend who is considering coming into Baltimore for some sparring with our group, Modern Agonistics, addresses the challenge of keeping a gym alive in this emasculated age. Interestingly, one of our fighters, Oliver, had just spoken to me on the phone about one portion of the answer.

Modern Agonistics is simply a network of men who engage in real combat as a way of seeking, with what they seek being their own individual business. Oliver, for the second time this month, called me with that ‘hat in hand’ tone that graduates of Asian-based martial arts schools [he is a Judo Jujitsu alumni of a school whose owner hates me] asking my permission to bring in a new fighter.

I appreciate the respect, and the fact that all of our fighters are of this respectful quality has made our tenure at Jim Frederick’s Kenpo easier over these five years. Jim recently told me that he is perfectly comfortable with my guys showing up and training at any time as they set a good example for his student body. On a commercial level, self-defense students like the idea of training alongside dangerous guys even if they are not participating in the same activity. As long as we don’t hit the speed bag while the instructor is speaking, we’re good.

Earlier this month Oliver brought in his cousin to spar and wanted to make sure he was not stepping on my toes. Two days ago he had this to say to me:

“James, this boy was in a fight with these other two teenagers—they were all about seventeen—outside of my apartment complex. I know I should have broken out the video and uploaded the fight to World Star, but I broke type and stopped it. I just stepped in and broke it up.”

“It turns out the kid has a wrestling background and is interested in MMA. I talked to his father, who was okay with him training with us. He wasn’t real keen on paying the mat fee, but I’ll cover that if necessary. I just wanted to know if it was alright with you if I bring him in.”

My answer to Oliver is the same as it has ever been. We are a club, not a school. Bring in anyone you want and the nature of the activity will wash out the majority.

The strength of our small club has been its diversity, with our core members coming from different arts and communities. With a club structure fighters are encouraged to bring in new people to enhance their own status within the club and at the same time grow the club so it won’t die.

A positive mindset, such as a commitment to break up fights and use this as a recruitment opportunity, is the key to growing a masculine network, by tapping into young blood. We have found it almost impossible to recruit martial artists from among programs we are associated with. We have better luck bringing in people met in a state of masculine need, like Oliver’s recent acquaintance.

A couple years ago Eric, a hulking man, who was attacked by a flash mob and successfully defended himself, met me at work quite by accident. We began discussing his swollen eye brow, and decided that his newly awakened sense of aggression would best be vented as Cory’s sparring partner, than in a twerp-squashing rampage. Eric was with us for about ten sessions, which was useful for all concerned, and he knows he’s welcome back when the need arises.

My best advice for gym operators is to take on the roll of moderator and encourage initiative on the part of fighters who have proven to be responsible as recruiters of new talent. Know that most recruits will wash out, and that many of those that do not will be sporadic associates, coming to the masculine well that is your gym, to hydrate, before venturing back out upon the dunes of the emasculated wasteland which remains to MEN as a stage for our devalued expression.