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12 Hoodrat Handles
The Ghetto Grocer Brings You the Latest in Imaginative Ebonic Names
© 2015 James LaFond
JUN/18/15
While we might wonder at the etymology of these monikers, keep in mind that some poor child has been saddled with one of these tags for life! Sourced from WIC vouchers and the spoken word—Yo!
1. Daseon
2. Raequan
3. Daquan
4. Dijuan
5. Donyae
6. Markeena
7. Tequila Wednesday, whose mother got drunk and pregnant on margarita night
8. Takeela, whose mamma was apparently phonetically drunk at conception
9. Sharquia, whose mother must have been playing scrabble while pregnant and watching the Discovery Channel’s shark week
10. Onieda, who might be named after the flatware company or the Indian tribe
11. Tezerea, whose mother, perhaps named her in honor of what the cops did to her Baby’s Daddy when they caught him selling drugs outside the maternity ward while she was in labor
12. And, last but not least, one soft-bottomed babe, Charminique—I shit you not!
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SidVic     Jun 18, 2015

Honestly, I sort of like Charminique.
James     Jun 19, 2015

Sounds like a babe storm, doesn't she?
Herzog     Jun 20, 2015

The black mammas seem to have a fad for a "qu" element in their babies' names. Wonder what it dimly signals for them.
James     Jun 21, 2015

I was going to ask my German language reader about that. I have a hard time with anything that even feels like conjoined French vowels on this barbaric tongue.

Please expound, Sir.

I do think you are on the right track with 'dimly.'
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