“So glad to hear you're writing a stick manual. There's a gap in the literature for that. Too much overly-complicated FMA already out there without an emphasis on usage. I'm looking forward to this one! Glad I could inspire you.
“I may at some point feel like writing more about my exploits over here and if so, I might take you up on the offer. Very kind of you to offer.
“My boys are 10 and 1 and my girl is about to turn 9. We've already pulled them out of public school and put them into a homeschooling group. Did you train any of your sons? Training the kids is hard for me to wrap my head around. The dad and teacher roles blur things but I also don't trust anyone else to do it. I was beat up twice by blacks by 4th grade and my kids are woefully prepared for the new world that's encroaching on us more every day. Are you going to try to train your grandson? How do your sons feel about that?”
Thanks,
Dave
Dave, pulling American children from public schools is the first thing that all sensible parents do—and all of the elite do it. It is a must. Our public schooling system is the tool to maintain our victim status and has no other function.
My oldest son took karate with me for six months in 1982 and just decided he was not physical enough for combat. Ironically his best friend is Dante, of When Your Helper Steals Your Tools fame, the hyper athletic son of the most brutal man I ever knew, who I trained. He has already given my grandson his first boxing lesson. To my grandson I am the adult that gets away with breaking all the family rules, which makes him leery of me now, but hopefully curious in the future.
My youngest son trained with me from11-15, and by 14 was helping me coach boxing and stick fighting, a big kid with a good one-two and vertical forehand with the stick. He broke my thumb once sparring. Where his older brother is a mechanic and family man, he is a driven money maker, who has had his own business since age 13, and actually made a profit out of attending college, using the tuition money I gave him to buy cars. One day, after sparring with Damien Kestle, he came to me, and said, “Dad, I don’t want to train anymore.”
I was not panicked. At 16 he could already KO men, and always had this crazy look in his eye while sparring that said, “This is some weird ritual that is insane which is best left to brutes.”
I told him, “That is totally alright with me. I just want to know why.”
He said, “I have gotten to the point where, for me to improve, I’m either going to have to sweat or bleed and I’m not interested in either one of those. I’m not like you.”
Glenn now negotiates life as the successful entrepreneur with the insane father who sometimes doubles as a bodyguard. When Vance is in trouble he calls Dante. When Glen feels like going to an undesirable location because that thing he needs is just not to be located in any decent venue—he’ll call me. He has also acquired the habit of being a leader among a set of more physical friends, including a jiu-jitsu player. So at least he is not languishing in sissy delusion, but understands he will have to live his life vigilantly, and, if he gains the success he is aiming for, be responsible for vetting and employing men like Dante and myself to secure his property and interests.
Overall, not every man has to be a fearsome fighter. He just has to have enough balls and backbone to stand up, enough brains to know when he’s in over his head, and be part of a supporting network—a tribe or clan some might say—that includes such men. For instance, Glenn and Vance quite enjoyed going to a biker bar with Dante, but Vance reminded him, “Hey bro, this is nice, but we never bring our women here without Dante and his big-ass friends.”
Dave, what I’m concerned the most about is my grandson, who, at age 4.8 is already deeply immersed by my daughter-in-law and associated family hens in the feminized education system. What I see as a hope, is his contact with Dante and myself, to be able to enjoy interacting with men who are different than school says they’re supposed to be—and also much cooler—which will hopefully give me an opening to speak to him about what it is to be free in your mind—which to me, is the essence of what it is to be a man.
As for the taboo about training your own son, this largely stems from poor outcomes in high level sports competition where huge egos are involved, and in hierarchal martial arts systems where the son of the master often has the privilege of functioning above his level of accomplishment. These concerns do not apply to such working class knuckleheads as ourselves, who simply seek to prepare our children to face the sick unnatural world that is creeping into our family life like some strangling vine.
You have already taken the most important steps. Now just pass on your combat art and you’ve given them a package that most parents do not even dare think about bestowing on their children.
“Okay, I'll take your advice and train them myself. It's good to know that one of your sons picked up your stuff since you have to so much to give. Really looking forward to your book since so many other books and videos are caught up in style dogma. Your articles on stick are very useful so keep them coming. Also your advice for us older guys on doing more shadowboxing and swimming was well received. Most of the advice I got in Thailand was run, jump rope, hit the thai pads, and hit the heavy bag every single day. Pretty hard on the body!”
"Dave, what I’m concerned the most about is my grandson, who, at age 4.8 is already deeply immersed by my daughter-in-law and associated family hens in the feminized education system. What I see as a hope, is his contact with Dante and myself, to be able to enjoy interacting with men who are different than school says they’re supposed to be—and also much cooler—which will hopefully give me an opening to speak to him about what it is to be free in your mind—which to me, is the essence of what it is to be a man."
I went through the public school system. It's always the right answer to pull your kids out. There is a lot of hard drug abuse and promiscuity in the schools elites put their kids into. Many aren't cut out for homeschooling.
Most parenting is done on 'autopilot' where kids really aren't taught anything by parents. Rather, parents let their kids passively absorb 'values' from their peers and teachers. My father and mother always taught me their values and to think for myself. My mother prayed for me a lot. I agree that it's important for boys to interact with men. Take up hunting and fishing, men. A lot can be done with an air rifle or sling bow.
Your book on training boys will be awesome. I've noticed that even the toy lightsaber fights I have with my 3 and 5 year old sons teaches ranging and defense and how to keep your eyes open when blows are incoming.
The best training gyms are where the owners keep the guys with egos out.
I wasn't planning on doing a book on training our sons—but I am now.
Remind me that I owe you a copy when it comes out, probably this time next year.
"Most parenting is done on 'autopilot' where kids really aren't taught anything by parents. Rather, parents let their kids passively absorb 'values' from their peers and teachers."
Good point and we had to pull the kids out to instill our values into them. The wife and I were simply fighting an un-winable battle otherwise. Being around kids that were getting all their values from staying up late on their own and consuming questionable at best media was something we couldn't fight against. They were at school and exposed to the other kid's opinions and influence longer than they were at home everyday. They were at their peak of energy during the day at school, we got them when they were tired at the end of the day.
Any book on training boys would be greatly appreciated. The influence of media and culture is hard to counter.
I will take the suggestion and plan to write a father/son training book for next year. I still have 15 books to wrap up this year and I think I'm going blind—who would have thought...
My 2 Obama cents. They are never too young to start training in grappling. My kids loved to attack dad when he came home from work. Like having a couple of midget katos. What you are teaching is not moves or techniques but instead the body kinetic mat sence that grapplers develop. This is the feeling that one develops over time that your opponent is off balance or weak in one area and thus exploitable to escape. How I taught it to my son was just to roll around with him when he was very little. When he got old enough to begin to understand I added holding him down but giving him a large obvious escape. The first couple of times you might have to tell or show the direction of escape. But after a few times they consciously feel for the escape. Then later this becomes "hard wired" and unconscious. They are escaping before you have them down. A very useful skill. Pax
Thank you.
Obviously, the best thing about grappling for children is you can practice it full contact without striking the child's brain.
I will be throwing out a judo/boxing piece soon and am hoping for your comment.