Joel works at one of Maryland’s largest wholesaling facilities—a huge warehousing and distribution operation. When I saw him this Saturday and asked him what the latest adventures were at work he seemed kind of pinched in the face about it. Knowing Joel, I figured it had something to do with the Spanish and ebonics speakers who are shipped in to work as temps. It has been irritating him that at 45 he has to learn a new language in order to communicate with employees who often end up being fired for stealing. I have graciously promised to serve as his ebonics coach, but can’t help him a lick with the Spanish.

Joel then went on to say, “Over the past few weeks employees on the night shift have been having their cars vandalized. The vandals are taking the air bags. They get seven-fifty a pop for airbags. Well, it turns out that it was seven employees from the day shift that were coming out at night and breaking into cars and taking the airbags. Security apprehended them.”

Not wanting to upset Joel, I compassionately asked him, “How many white women did they arrest for breaking into those cars?”

“None,” he grimaced.

“So this was seven white dudes that did all of this breaking and entering.”

He looked at me darkly, not answering, so I continued to forge on as a responsible member of the Press Corp should, “Would these thieves happen to be victims of your white oppression?”

Joel snarled, “Jesus, Jimmy, they were temps. Don’t get me all riled up. It’s enough to drive a man to drink.”

Last year over 60 employees were fired for taking a part in an organized theft ring at Joel’s place of employment. It makes no sense to Joel that his employer continues to replace thieving employees with new employees from the same demographic.