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She Cries
Cities of Dust #73: God’s Picture Maker, Chapter 1
© 2015 James LaFond
AUG/11/15
The first five chapters, introducing each of the initial protagonists of this novel, will be serialized here, concluding the Cities of Dust serial with #77.
If you are interested in the events that occurred between Behind the Sunset Veil and God's Picture Maker, check out the serial Den of The Ender at the tag link below.
In Flesh Clothed
He rumble-thrummed onto the wide moonstone bridge; an artifice of suspended rock torn from Mother Earth, melted in the Whiteman’s raging fire, reformed by the mighty hands of the Whiteman’s thunderer—the spirit they called Industry—and then placed here, to span these waters, by the Whiteman’s many uncaring hands. He ventured out onto the metallic span on his Sazuki thunder-horse, purchased with pleasure with dream trade notes stolen from Whiteman Ford’s financial ghost camp. He paused just after pulling onto the structure, one of the Whiteman’s more practical innovations. Bridges were far less damaging to Mother Earth—or what remained of her—than tunnels and interstate highway grades, etc.
Yes Mother, at least in this instance, with the spanning of your water here, they acknowledged your power, your right to let your hair down in the form of these waters and flow to the Big Salty, as the Spirit of Hiawatha. Even he passed above your waters on occasion in his wondrous white-sky-canoe.
He considered the reflecting ear above the antler of the thunder-horse, looked at the man within, his soul trapped as fleetingly in its reflection as it was in this Whiteman-damned world. He had once, upon coming into this Whiteman version of tomorrow, affectionately named it Sunset, the place where he then believed he would find the departed souls of his grandfathers. He knew this world now, as Sunset still: the world beyond the passing of the Natural People; the world in which Mother Earth herself was raped like a natural woman taken by white soldiers during a maize-burning raid. Sunset was a now-evil world, that never-the-less supplied a safe haven for him, and a means to combat the Whiteman nations who had yet to overrun his Mother Earth in that other yesterday, as they had her sister here.
I have stolen the Whiteman’s all-knowing eye—have his power, am his power.
I must strike like Thunderer, for I have become Thunderer!
Yes, but first, make some nice.
He saw, for the first time with his eyes, himself, Three-Rivers Thunderboy WhiteSkyCanoe Hesperia, as a physical man. Ever since he had joined with Burnt Man’s Sunken Star, and gained the power of the thunderbirds to travel the Fourteen Rivers of Time, he had, he knew, the ability to reform in the image of a grown man. The discipline of Father, however; the ghost of the great WhiteSkyCanoe, wisest of the Longhouse Prophets of He-Who-Makes-Rivers, who yet haunted the deep echoing well of his soul, had restrained him.
The other great ghost within him, the conspiratorial spirit of his evil mother, Tina Hesperia, Seducer of Worlds, had been—and remained—insistent that he adopt the form most conducive to his current need. Mother was to be honored. Her dark wisdom had helped him much against her evil Masters of Further Sunset, and Furthest Sunset. But she was not to be trusted.
I do not need Mother’s advice. This is a thing of compassion I do.
She came when he was weak, like a seductress in the night of his self-doubt. But otherwise he kept her in her place, in the lonely widow’s house at the edge of his inner camp, on the outskirts of the bustling community of his ever-expanding mind. Mother was, after all, the widow of his war chief, DeathSong, lost now to the evil medicine woman society of Further Sunset called Mothercorp. Mother Hesperia was to be honored, if distrusted.
What would Mother advise and how might it serve The Beginner rather than her depraved self-interest?
To keep her at bay he sought her probable opinion in her absence. His increasingly vast mind was sometimes a troubling place to live with one’s thoughts and questions. It was a struggle to meditate, as he had so much lore, so many of the Whiteman’s vast book stacks, stored within his deep darkly shadowed mind.
I am sick to despair of TV dream hunts, who-loves-the-deserving-woman stories, and who-killed-the-undeserving-Whiteman stories!
Cannot someone write another Bible at least; another murdering-son-of-Moses for me to rail against; another Jesus for me to call brother-on-the-tree-of-woe; another old canoe-chief to laugh at for washing his hands with filthy water?
What is the matter with you people?
Forget it Thunderboy, they are lost. You beseech a world built on the bones of your Mother Earth and of the dust of her people, for no other purpose than to create a better-shaped breast for some old Whiteman to fondle!
There is at least justice in that, the Whiteman being a moral infant. But I understand, take something good and run.
His gaze returned to his reflection, wondering if Mother would approve, if Father would approve. He was the height of a man now, what the whites called ‘six foot tall.’ His skin was a deep copper, his long banded hair coal black, his face, what women called ‘handsome.’ His nose was a bit too prominent for his own taste, and he was fairly disgusted by the bobbing throat organ that the Whiteman insisted on equating with the fruit-eating sin of their Grandfather Adam.
The one nut-colored and one sideway’s looking clouded eye of his childhood—his decrepit penance for some past life lived wrongly he still believed, although it’s trace yet eluded his inner eye—had long since been replaced with sky-colored eyes of Whiteman blue. His now deceased totem, Gerald Hicks—the unrepentant transmigrant African American wino reincarnated as a squirrel—had insisted that these blue eyes made him look like a ‘goddamn Puerto Rican.’ Although they were not the eyes of a Natural Person of Mother Earth, he liked them, as they were the eyes of the wolf, and he refused to permit the Whiteman to have an exclusive right to wolf eyes.
The Whiteman is a wolf though, the greatest wolf of them all. He brings down not just his prey, but its spirit as well.
You must then become the grey-mouthed spirit bear.
He cut off his thunder-horse from its fire-blood, and dismounted, taking one look down at his body, concealed lightly by his doeskin ceremonial attire.
Not much of a bear there, skinny boy!
You are still not strong, not even strong-looking, are you Thunderboy?
A deep cavernous thought echoed within, There is no need to look strong when one has wisdom, My Son.
Thank you, Father. Besides, I have something of the thin build of Randy Bracken, DeathSong’s evil brother, a man feared by any right-thinking person. So I might still walk proudly among chiefs?
The ‘voice’ of WhiteSkyCanoe rose within him until his brain became aflame with knowing, Pride is nothing, My Son, less than nothing. Walk alone, walk like the wind. The wind has no pride, and conquers all—will even sweep over Mother Earth when she is ground to barren dust and set ablaze by her brother sun.
In Spirit Moved
He did as he was advised, walking without pride, along the green-painted moon-metal bridge of the Whiteman, his thunder-horse remaining still behind him, in the deathly state of its kind’s repose. His moccasins scraped lightly across the grating while he enjoyed the view of the water below, water not fouled—not here, not where the Whiteman stored his water for drinking—by castoff Whiteman things.
This was a bridge above a river that fed a big Whiteman-made lake called Loch Raven Reservoir. The Whiteman and his half-freed slaves numbered so many on Sunset that their wells were lakes, some so massive that he could see them easily when he projected his sprit into the Whiteman Moons belonging—so they thought—to the void-walking medicine-men, without even seeking enhanced resolution or magnification.
He felt the mist and the clear cool breeze wafting up from below on this mid-summer morning. This was a time before people were supposed to visit here. The Whiteman had rules for everything it seemed. The sun was not yet up from behind the wooded hills above. Despite the Whiteman’s rules, there was a visitor up ahead, a visitor with a deep sorrow in her heart. He could see her mechanical servant, her thunder-chair so-to-speak, pulled off the road ahead, and could also see her standing with her back to the bridge made by her evil masters’ grandfathers.
She is so sad I can taste her tears from here. I trust I am not too late.
Mother’s sultry voice crept up within him, My Sweet, it is seven-thirty-six. According to the coroner’s certificate the time of death was just after eight. She probably drowned after jumping in response to a motorist stopping to inquire—or because one just passed her by, thus confirming her deep feeling of disenfranchisement.
You are wise despite yourself, Mother.
My Sweet, we whores have ruled the world since long before your sanctimonious father was born. I wag—
Mother, back to your shrouded house!
He could hear the echo of her high spiked night-colored moccasins for man-seduction as they clomped angrily down the hollow passage of his absent lust.
Finally, he came to her side, on this, the safe side of the barrier against falling called a railing. It then occurred to him, that even though he possessed a limited type of immortality—according to the Whiteman’s way of looking at life as a rising arrow of gain and then loss—that he was still deathly afraid of heights. He made to step between the bars and then grew fearful even as she pretended he was not there.
I know fear?
I am a mighty Time-canoeing ‘prophet’ and yet I know fear!
Yes, the simple fear of this high place, the place this woman has sought in her sorrow, hold’s me in its grip!
How can I ever save my people, being so weak of spirit?
You are one with The Sunken Star—find a way.
No, I will not ‘medicine my way’ out of this. I am supposed to be a warrior-of the spirit at least—and must find a man’s way above my fear.
Then, to steady himself, he thought back to his crooked-backed one-eyed childhood, when he had been the Escort of Souls because of his suffering from the Vision Sickness that the Whiteman called Epilepsy. There had been times, on the trek up from the Pushing River, when DeathSong had guided him and his broken-minded companion Arrow Holder over the Beautiful-People-Mountains, when they had enjoyed heights.
Seek DeathSong’s power within you. He may be gone, but his spirit echoes deep within.
It had fallen to the two damaged boys—one of the Tree Eaters and the other of the Longhouses—to befriend the savage white demon. Being boys, they had sought entertainment from the man-eating avenger who warriors so feared, by having him carry them to the tops of the most majestic trees. So Three-Rivers—not feeling like tall Thunderboy now, but more like the tiny bent ‘Squirrel Boy’ of his childhood—imagined in his mind, that the fierce eater-of-warriors was holding him about the waist with one man-breaking arm, as he climbed as nimbly as a squirrel up a towering cedar with the other inhumanly strong hand.
Why, this is quite a nice view. I think I shall step outward to make friends with Jerry.
The Woe of Mothers
The woman was of average height for her kind: white, hair red with gray roots. She was wearing blue jeans, sneakers, and a white woman’s shirt, of material light enough that one could see the white breast-strapping underneath. She sobbed pitifully, her flushed cheeks dripping with tears and her eyes swollen with torment. Her body had also borne the burden of sorrow. Her belly was swollen, not from a child, but by drink—the child of sorrow un-escaped.
Three-Rivers had done much drinking of the Whiteman’s various types of medicine water, beer being his favorite. But now, seeing this woman, he resolved not to drink again, as a kind of protest against those who made this substance. He was in no danger from drink himself, being a highly trained visionary. He was a prophet though, and it was up to him to make examples and commit actions reflective of virtue, not selfish vision-questing. What, with the virtual worlds of information sunken just beneath his mind’s eye, he had no shortage of opportunities to quest within. He no longer needed medicine water to accelerate his spirit flights.
So, having nearly convinced himself that he would not drink the Whiteman’s medicine water again, he turned to the woman beside him. “Greetings Miss Jerry Fields of the Lutherville Whites, I am Three-Rivers. I seek your friendship, Jerry.”
She looked at him with a haunting desperation in her eyes. “Did I do it? Am I dead? I didn’t think I had the balls to do it.”
“You are not dead Jerry; the act of self-killing is not complete. Also, I am sure that your anatomical analogy concerning your lack of courage is misplaced. You have had the courage to live through sorrows, to suffer through indignities that would have driven others to stop caring about those around them. Many, in your place, may even have become bad people in rebellion against their sad plight.”
“Who are you again?”
“I am Three-Rivers, with other names also. Three-Rivers is the important name, for it was bestowed upon me by my father, WhiteSkyCanoe.”
“I don’t want you to stop me. It’s too much—I can’t take it anymore. I’m done!”
“Do you really want to die, Jerry?”
“No. But living is too painful.”
“Jerry, let me hold your hand please, while we sit down. I am afraid of heights and am getting dizzy. The spell I placed upon myself is wearing off.”
“I’m strong. I’m a strong Polish chick! You can’t drag me back over the railing—and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Jerry, if you don’t want me to get hurt, how about if we hold hands and sit down. I’m terrified—really, a ‘sissy’ as you say here on Sunset.”
The woman took his hand reluctantly and then they sat, her helping him steady himself, even holding her hand against his trembling belly as he leaned back against the metal barrier. There was an edge to her voice, a giddiness, “You aren’t making that up about being scared—you’re shaking like a leaf.”
He sighed, “Jerry, if I could lie about my cowardly nature, I would make up a big story about how brave I am. Thank you. I should be fine now.”
She smiled at him. “What kind of Indian are you?”
“I was born to the Flint-Place-People—Mahicans, and adopted by a man of the People-of-Big-Hill-Town—the Senecas.”
“That’s nice. You know, I always liked stories about Indians. I wished my Vicki had met a nice Indian man. Things might have turned out different if I had a good son-in-law—grandbabies and everything.”
She began growing sad again as her voice trailed off, so he tried to joke. “There just aren’t too many of us Indians left Jerry. Is your daughter, Vicki, well?”
Jerry’s voice became bitter, “Oh, well enough I guess. She is with her dyke girlfriend—doesn’t need Mommy to cook en clean en iron her clothes anymore.”
“You mean that thing you do where shirts are burned between a board and a smoking piece of metal?”
“Yes, that’s called ironing. Anyways, I guess it’s for the best, her moving out on her own and all, going her own way. If she chooses a woman, that’s her call. It’s not like there’s many men to choose from. I certainly know that!”
He cringed a little from the bitterness in her voice. “Vicki’s father is a bad man?”
“No, he was just weak—a sorry S.O.B. really. He passed nine years ago. I was just talking about all of the bastards!—excuse me—that have used me and her, and that biggest bastard of them all, Mister Sanders!”
Her anger was shocking, so he decided to feed it, to get her mind off of the subject of self-killing. “Mister Sanders? Is this bad man your chief?”
She fairly spat the words, “Chief of Shit Mountain more like it! He’s my boss, owns a sanitation business, his trucks pick up trash, empty dumpsters.”
“He was your chief of making money?”
“Yeah, my boss: that evil prick! I was his dispatcher. He had this hot young thing as a receptionist—didn’t need her, just wanted her body. He’s a pig. So, she gets sick of the harassment and marries some basketball player and leaves. Now—look at me, I’m not even built anymore—he starts feeling me up, saying sick stuff to me. Well, I hit him! I can sock it to an old horn-dog, let me tell yah! That just turned the freak on. So he keeps it up. Eventually, when his wife comes in to do the books, I tell her, ask her to make it stop. The next thing I know I’m fired—by both of them!”
Jerry was flaming angry. “Can’t get a job at forty-five. Can’t pay the bills. So, I’m out on my ass—my daughter and her dyke friend don’t want me because they have some Mexican maid to clean their house! I’m living in my car for three weeks. My little Vicki, my little girl, who I did everything for, doesn’t need me, doesn’t want me! Where did I go wrong? I gave her everything!”
Three-Rivers patted her arm and then put his arm around her. She continued with her Story. “On top of that my boss sent his men to threaten me, threatened me not to sue. He’s some mafia guy—I shouldn’t kill myself. I should kill him! I’m done, done; just too tired. I threw my blood pressure medicine out yesterday. If I just sit in that car long enough I’ll stroke out and die—or maybe just jump and get it over with.”
My Sweet, this Mister Sanders and his trash-picking goons might deserve a visit from Randy Bracken. He might be the most infuriating brother-in-law I ever had, but he has his talents.
Mother!
My Sweet, this kind of man—this Sanders—will torment more women. I must insist that my gender-preservation imperative be honored.
Mother?
Yes, My Beautiful-minded Son, I am an evil, murderous whore—or was before you deconstructed me and cast my replicant into the fading future. But I am right about men and you know it.
Yes, Mother, I feel the fire ignite your soul. Wisdom is not always good, and you are most wise. I am a prophet though, a man of peace. A peaceful inquiry only—though delivered by the hand of your dark-spirited in-law. Now, back below…
He could feel the angry quiver of her spiritual lips as she stalked down the long hall of his worldly repose…
Three-Rivers then put his finger to the quivering lips of the physical woman next to him. “Jerry, you sound like a good Mother. You know, I’m celibate—no woman, no wife, so no children. What I do have though is a prophet’s family. I have a big town of people who live happily together without money, without all of those crazy Whiteman rules. It is mostly a town of Natural People, who you call Indians. They have an elder mother, named Egg Shell, a granddaughter of a dead friend of mine. She is getting old and could use some help with things. Also, the town has a sister, Hyacinth, and I am taking her away to acquire a painter for a friend—even less help for Egg Shell, you see?”
Jerry mopped at her eyes with her hands. They were scarred from cooking and baking and butchering and sewing; all of the timeless tasks of the wife, the mother, but now apparently of little value to white people. Her voice was soft and cautious, “Really, you need help? You’re not just trying to trick me into not killing myself?”
Three-Rivers smiled and took her hands in his. “Whiteman Mother Jerry, I trick your
people all the time—a regular fox I’ve been. If I wanted to trick you, Jerry, than you would never suspect—I’m that tricky!”
She permitted herself a cautious laugh, and then a smile.
Three-Rivers plucked a hair from his head and it glowed with the medicine of The
Sunken Star, but to Jerry it was a trick played by the rising sun. “You must use some kind of proprietary conditioner! Look how the light plays off your hair.”
He then wrapped the hair around her left wrist and smoothed it between his hands as he whispered in her ear, “Jerry, this is your Thunderboy bracelet—they call me that you know; Thunderboy, Master of the Thunderbirds.”
Jerry was rubbing her wrist, where the hair had sunken into her skin and left a sun-
colored impression of a braided hair around her wrist. “What are you a magician or
something?”
“As a matter of fact I am that Jerry. We—us Natural People—call our magicians
medicine-men.”
“That’s neat. I bet it sure beats a nine-to-five job.”
Three-Rivers heard a car approaching, and decided to expedite matters, his tone grown serious, “Jerry, will you come to my town, show the young women your cooking tricks and take care of the babies, and help old Egg Shell?”
She beamed, like she was asleep and smiling about an unlikely dream as it carried her to the Land of Dreaming Grandfathers that the Whiteman derisively called fantasy. “Sure, let’s go buddy. I’d Love to be a Polack Indian.”
Three-Rivers took her hand in his and breathed in deeply, and never stopped inhaling. He grew until his lungs caught fire and he became a star. Then he exhaled, exhaled until his belly was cold and hollow and he grew large and red. Then, in due time, he grew tired and heavy. Eventually, Time itself took on a weight, a weight that bore down on his aged shoulders, until he sunk within himself, pulling Time with him like a man that had fallen through his sapling-ledge-bed, pulling his cozy hides with him. And those hides that followed him through the hole he had become, they were all the Whiteman’s wicked years, thankfully trailing behind him now, as he and his new friend hitched a ride on one of Thunderer’s mighty birds and returned to Egg Shell’s Dream-catcher, the thunder-hoop that resided atop Amble Mesa’s sand-painted spirit mound, the earthen mountain at the center of, and above, AllPeopleTown…
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