“I was chased by a group of Three...
They pursued me until I crossed Sinclair...
Then they Stopped, as if they came upon a River
they could not cross... ”
— A. Metzger
They pursued me until I crossed Sinclair...
Then they Stopped, as if they came upon a River
they could not cross... ”
— A. Metzger
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The Baltimore Travel Guide
Jump to:
MAP •
ZONES •
FAQ •
DOWNLOADS •
VIDEOS •
ARTICLES
Harm City just got mapped. |
First released 7 October 2016 |
BTG is the product of an exciting collaboration amongst Baltimore City and County residents, to geographically document the ever-changing meanscape of our tiny metropolis. We've spent countless hours debating the overall safety factor of neighborhoods across the map, of various transit arteries, business districts, residences, and of course — vacancies, all for the purpose of creating a risk guide to outsiders. You have to admit, it's an order of magnitude greater than this thing.
A Google Maps™ frame has been embedded below for instant viewing pleasure. This will work for most devices; should you experience technical difficulty, see the downloads section for alternatives.
DISCLAIMER: ALL CONTENT IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY
 The Blue Zone
Sanctuary. Violent crime is infrequent here, but not undeard of. Theft on the other hand is a regular part of life in Harm City ™ so don't expect the hospitality of a New England Bed & Breakfast. Joins the Yellow Zone at Dusk. |
 The Yellow Zone
Proceed with caution. Crime is rampant in Harm City™ and often knows no boundaries, so stay on your toes. If a riot breaks out, it's typically here. Joins the Red Zone at Dusk. |
 The Red Zone
You are in danger.
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So what do you think? — Let us know here!
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do I use this guide?
The 3 zones represent 3 levels of risk assessment. Risk of what? Being engaged violently. This is not a property value guide. Real estate is an investment in the future, when the meanscape portrayed here will have shifted.
Q: What do you mean by 'the River'?
Perhaps the most common remark made by travellers to Baltimore city, is the fact that one can walk or drive 1-2 blocks and turn up
in an entirely different meanscape: friendly on one block, apocalyptic on the next. Many streets have become host to invisible
borders, the literal demarcation point where safety completely drops off, or vice versa. Some criminals have even been observed respecting these civic boundaries,
as if they are geographic ones — thus, the term River was born.
This phenomenon may be sighted on the Travel Guide, where one "zone"
transitions to the next suddenly, and along a wide margin. Take a look at Pimlico (Northwest), Greenmount Ave (North-central), Taylor Ave (Northeast),
the North side of Patterson Park (Southeast), or Downtown's Pratt street — holding the line for South Baltimore.
Q: Is Baltimore really that bad?
Yes. Didn't you see the red zone?
Q: The University campus is red? Really? REALLY?
They have their own murder rate ...
Q: When can we expect this map to be updated?
It probably won't be updated. The authors have since, successfully escaped the City, returning to it only sparingly for humanitarian purposes. Good luck to you all.
Downloads
Want more than just zones and annotations? Download the Google Earth™ edition, which
includes a richer set of tools and data, 3D buildings, street-view, and more. We've also
compiled hi-res stills into a ZIP archive as an alternative to utilizing Google software.
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Baltimore Travel Guide v1.1 (.kmz) (0.20 MB - Released on 7 Oct 2016) |
Google Earth is available for
PC and Mobile (Android + iOS)
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Baltimore Travel Guide v1.0 - Image Pack (.zip) (6.9 MB - Released on 8 Apr 2016) |
24 JPEG images at resolution 1680x1004
Addendums & Anecdotes
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Where The Gawd Kangs Thrive
Scrap Family Bachelor Survival Under Gawdly Dominion: Part 3 Of 3: Baltimore, 5/9/2022
PC Policing Continues
The Baltimore Travel Guide Aggression Map Continues To Be Banned By The Left And Ignored By The Right
‘Is Baltimore Safe For Street Musicians?’
Rachel Wants To Know If She Will Ever See Such A Hipsteriffic Sight In Harm City
'Please Explain The Pictures'
An Out Of Town Babe Wants To Know About The Urban Heroes Gracing The Harm City Safari Guide |
"My Eyes Can't See Around Corners"
Bicyclist's Lives Don't Matter: With Advice From Onetime Harm City Cyclist Nero The Pict
‘Five Star Family Neighborhoods?’
A Brief Critique Of One Self-Serving Capitalist Perspective, Seeking To Lure Young Families Into Harm City
'Ski Masks In 65 Degrees?'
‘What Is Up, The Hoodrat Version Of Anonymous?’ A Man Question From Andrew Metzger
‘I’m Confused About Race And Violence’
‘Am I Better Off Being Black Or White When It Comes To Getting Attacked?: A Man Question From Charles
‘Why Should I Avoid Baltimore Campuses?’
‘What Is So Bad About A City Community College?’: A Man Question From Charles
Getting Negrodamus
On Lower Park Heights: At Park Heights And Belvedere With A Fourth Generation West Baltimorean
Valued Member Of The Global Community,
Welcome To Baltimore, Known To The Victims Of Your Privilege Who Live Here As "Harm City"
I Don’t Break For Whites
White Wednesday Serendipity: Taking The Bus As A Person Of Evil Complexion In Harm City
60,000 Dope Fiends And Counting
News Max Gives A Rundown Of G-man Riot News Caught In The Media Filter, And Still Doesn’t Scratch The Surface |
