The bimbo State’s Attorney that in supposed to forestall the next Baltimore purge by gaining justice for Freddie Gray in court, just filed a fairly idiotic case against a white cop who shot a white criminal. Mike, a dude I have taken the bus with a few times, was looting the register at an East Baltimore ethnic grocery store at 4:30 a.m. on December 28th of 2014. At least Mike doesn’t steal from his neighbors, but takes his larceny across town!

Mike is a white doper who was scrounging for drug money at a grocer near where he would cop his dope. Unfortunately somebody called the cops. He was leaving the store with $202 worth of cigarettes, $62 worth of lottery tickets and $100 in cash, which barely qualifies him for being jailed. In Baltimore, stealing less than $300 does not earn you a stay in jail unless you have no I.D. or if you say something stupid to the cops.

Mike!

Mike was heading for the side door when two pigs confronted him and popped off 15 rounds, by his count. The pigs lied and said that they had ordered him to show his hands and that he had went for his waist band—where there was nothing—according to investigators. But Mike says, “they didn’t say one word,” and that he “wasn’t a threat from the jump.”

One bullet sank into his abdomen. One bullet grazed his head and another one ricocheted off the wall and lodged in his neck. Yet another bullet went into his leg and blew out of his waist. But for all of the lead expended—and considering how much he ingested—when Mike hit the floor he didn’t feel so bad. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the burning sensation he felt when he got shot in the leg 25 years ago while being robbed at gunpoint.

A third officer, a meat-headed looking dude, now came to stand over him with gun drawn. Amazed that he was in so little pain, Mike looked up at the pig and said, “What did you shoot me with, a bean bag?”

The pig responded, “No, a forty-caliber, you piece of shit,” and fired one round into Mike’s groin.

Since Mike had had the forethought to get shot within walking distance of the world famous Johns Hopkins Trauma Center, where staff get practice plugging bullet holes in the hoodrats he buys his dope from every other day, he was saved. He emerged a month later less a spleen and short one kidney. He is now staying with his Mom up the street from me, and doesn’t think that the pig should do time. He feels like an idiot for getting shot, says he’s “no angel,” and would just like the officer to have to apologize and perhaps lose his police job.

But the bimbo State’s Attorney is looking to put Porky Pig away for life, on attempted murder and other various charges. Even if she manages to make these charges stick, all she will accomplish—since Mike is a white dude—is piss off the blacks of Baltimore that much more if she fails to get a conviction of a white officer for Freddie Gray’s death. Mike actually said that he doesn’t want Porky Pig to “go down the tubes,” and doesn’t want other officers to “hesitate to do their jobs,” which makes sense, since the gun-armed black dudes that prey on stoners like him are emboldened every time a cop goes down for injuring of killing a non-compliant suspect.

However, if I were Mike’s attorney, I would point out to him that all three of these cops did lie about him and falsify his arrest report, and even claimed-at one half-considered point—that Mike had been armed.

Stay tuned for another episode of As the World Swirls.