I have just received a call from a witness on North Avenue and Harford Road, where the Freddie Grey Hearings are taking place [the closest court house to the scene of his fatally fatal arrest, and hence easily accessible to Sandtown hoodrats to whom he is a Jesus figure]. He informed me that a hoodrat protester was darting in and out of traffic and was struck by a car, sparking off minor violence. Another caller just informed me that the police officer that guards her facility has been diverted to the scene.

With any luck this minor riot will spark another full blown race purge and I will be attacked on my way to work tonight so that I might have a newsworthy article in the morning.

In case I have to mount a legal defense after being attacked by one of the dozens of packs of black men who, during the late April purge, hospitalized more than 14 lone white men in the very area I will be travelling through between 10 and 12 tonight, the area that has remained largely un-policed since then, I say the following in my legal defense.

I am 52, and have bad ankles—both of them currently sprained—will be carrying a backpack for my work clothes that I wear in the walk-in freezer. There is no conceivable way I can out run young men or teens. I will have to fight.

I will be walking with the aid of a handmade hickory T-cane, as this takes the burden off of my sprained ankles. I am trained in the use of a cane as a weapon, and will only use it to strike above the neck if I am outnumbered, or facing an armed attacker. Otherwise, I have every intention of inflicting limited pain and damage on the innocent, oppressed, misunderstood and inadequately empathized with Children of the State, who have simply mistaken this poor piece of aged white trash for someone who can actually afford to eat a steak dinner.

I pray to the God Queen, Hillary Goddamn Clinton, to imbue her Priestess of the Baltimore Temple with the wisdom of the Matriarchy, so that I will not be forced to commit the crime of defending myself tonight.

Amen.