As a boxing fan, and also a fan of trainers, I am thrilled to find out that Roy is still fighting in Russia, Kayoing scrubs at a pleasing rate, and training some promising fighters. There can be no greater indictment of American masculinity than the fact that one of our most knowledgeable boxing practitioners has decided that the best place to ply his trade as a trainer is where the men come of age before moving to America. While other, more established, trainers wait for the Russian testosterone diaspora to wash up in Manhattan, Jones is going to the masculine source.

I hope that Roy and Bernard Hopkins will have a rematch before they both hang up their gloves.

The cutest part of this report is Jones’ intention of learning Russian, and getting good at it. Hopefully, he won’t be any better at speaking Russian than he is at speaking English, a language he mangles with humorously rural regularity.

Do you think that the Sissy States of Mangina-America will ever again play host to a head of state honoring a male combat athlete?