Recently I have been asked two sets of questions that dovetailed into the same subject.

These two conversations were had in the same area where a man brutally slew his estranged wife and her boyfriend in her house, with a knife, just last month. The man died in the house of multiple stab wounds, the woman outside, of multiple stab wounds, having fled and then bled out. Note, that this was nearly a successful sacrificial defense of his girl by the boyfriend. Earlier last year, in the same neighborhood, there was a fatal stabbing outside of a nightclub, a mile from the house stabbing; a cowardly comeback if I recall correctly.

The first question came from a young man with whom I spar with blunt knives, “I’m thinking, with all of the knife training, that it makes sense to make the knife my self-defense weapon? If so, what kind of knife should I use?”

What I offer here is a cleaned up version of my five-minute response.

The sellers and buyers of tactical defensive knives have not been pleased with the fact that I do not advocate the use of a knife or other edged-weapons for personal defense outside of your home. In my opinion edged-weapons should be placed tactically in various portions of your home, with the bedroom, where you are most vulnerable and can make the best case for a lethal defense, home to the most deadly blades in your arsenal.

I keep three medieval swords, two ancient swords, one Asian sword, one SCA saber, a cane, a baton, a waster, three large knives, and two heavy cargo hooks—sensibly placed, so that I am always within reach of one—in my private space within the house I reside.

There is no need for weapons in the kitchen, as the countertop knife set and cast iron skillet selection offers all you need. I also do not advocate weapons at the front or back door where break-ins are prone, unless they are simple blunt weapons, like canes or sticks, for use defending you loved ones or property on the porch or in the yard. I never recommend advancing from your dwelling with a blade. I have always kept a scuba knife in my shower, next to the "too gray to be gay" conditioner.

The knife selected should be heavy enough to shock the opponent, and break or sever an arm. Small knives are not immediately lethal unless you target a vital, which the State’s Attorney will want to hang you for. Also, the immediate effects of most stabbings and cuttings with small blades do not affect the course of combat in the short term, with many stabbing targets being unaware that they have been stabbed, and thinking themselves’ to have been ineffectively punched. Also, brandishing a blade may well get you shot.

You want something heavy enough to break bones and shock their nervous system. Many of my defensive blades are essentially war clubs, not even sharpened.

Above all, the last thing you want to do is kill your attacker via stab wounds, particularly multiple stabs. Most of the stabbings handled by law enforcement are multiple stabbings by men such as the ones described above, and the one described below. You do not want to take any chance that the State’s Attorney might liken you to these murderers.

Kellye had been dating and living with an abusive criminal for years. Finally, sick of the beatings, she tried to leave, and he stabbed her to death, and then fled and hung himself. The abusive dynamic is so typical its relating deadens the soul. Also, the attack, as with most edged-weapon slayings, consisted of multiple stabs. Kellye’s uncle asked me some forensic and behavioral questions, wondering what her end was like and hoping it was not as bad as it could have been. I am not going to get into the details here, out of respect for the family. I will offer some observations which should result in you not being keen on stabbing someone in self-defense.

In multiple stabbings—particularly of estranged mates and sexual rivals and of fellow inmates in prison—the knife is psychologically, and very likely subconsciously, a surrogate for the penis and the penetration of dominating intercourse.

Do not forget, that the Romans’, who killed more people by the blade than any other society in history, had a telling name for the sheath or scabbard that housed the blades they so admired. When a Roman finished murdering a family of Bretons or some snotty Asiatic back-talker, and sheathed his weapon, he sheathed the weapon in its vagina. The Romans were the ultimate blade society, extolling the stab over the cut, and, above all likening the blade to their sick society’s collective world-raping penis.

So, my friend, do not keep the company of Bobby the Babe-killer, or Manlius Man-butcher.

If they reach for you, and you have a light blade, slash the wrist. The wrist is visible, has a lot of nerves and tendons to insure he feels it and suffers loss of manual dexterity, and will require him to keep both hands busy or bleed out.

If they break into your kitchen, just take off the hand with Mom’s old butcher knife, and do not follow military or FMA protocol by following up with finishing techniques. Throw the amputee a hand towel and call him an ambulance, while reminding him to elevate the stump.

End the intruder’s aggression.

Do not let him and the lawyers who represent our jealous civic masters end your freedom.