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‘After the Nelson’
Columbine Joe #10: Living with A Drama Queen
© 2015 James LaFond
OCT/29/15
“The one [girlfriend] who was the bodybuilder, who I put in the full nelson—for which the responding cops complimented me—she was black. It really helped me understand why black guys are the way they are and what they have to put up with. She was just so loud, and would want to get physical any time there was a disagreement—and disagreements sometimes happen in relationships. But the fact that she got loud always brought heat.
“Yes, she tried to hit me with shoes, and books and other things.
“Yes, she tried to stab me—with a pair of scissors mind you.
“Of course, I learned from boxing that the easiest person to deal with in a fight is the person that thinks they can fight, and has no idea what they are doing—which pretty much encompasses black women.
“Well, after the cops who gave me the ataboy on the nelson, it reoccurred, and there is another cop at the door. This cop was a giant Amazon black was one big woman—six and a half feet and two-fifty—all muscle and scowl. The first thing that came through my mind is, ‘If she is not gay, I wonder what kind of dude she is with. I mean, he’s either Tiny Tim or Mike Tyson. I couldn’t imagine anyone in between the two extremes being a fit.’
“Now, I could tell right away that she hated white people, particularly grungy long-haired dudes. She was taking my girl’s side. But then my girl starts running her mouth. So she decided not to lock me up. Then she keeps running her mouth and almost got herself locked up.
“Then, the next time she starts screaming and the neighbors call—understandably so—the cops are cool, and they talk to me. But then they pull me aside and say, ‘Look, we know what the deal is. It’s her. But, she’s not getting the results she wants. So one day she’s going to say you hit her. And when she makes that claim—even though it will be lie—then we put the cuffs on you and take you away. So do us all a favor and get out of this relationship.’
“I very much appreciated the way they talked to me. So I took their advice and have not crossed that line again. It’s just not worth it. Living like that is a ticket to jail. The combative lifestyle just begs for it. When everything is an argument, and any argument can get physical than it all takes you to the same bad place.”
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