The Chinese woman spoke some English as she took my pork fried rice order and fixed it, barking in unintelligible gutturals to the older man preparing another dish for the fat, bearded, thirty-something white guy next to me, who kept looking at me nervously.
The black chick with the big ass was not nervous, so I decided to spread the love and ogle her hind parts as I leaned on the counter and nodded to the Chinese woman as she asked, “You want duck sauce? You want soy sauce? You want mustard?”
The black girl was un-phased and batted her fake eyelashes above a reluctantly crooked smile.
The white guy was more nervous than before. So, despising weak white men, I slid a menu out from underneath his six-pack that he had set on the counter without excusing myself. Once he swallowed hard I was done being a jerk, for the day, and was thrilled, while testing the twin pack of chopsticks against my palm to see if they would be any good as a shank, to find the following imprinted there.
Welcome to Chinese Restaurant
please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks
the traditional typical of Chinese glorious history
and cultural.
A $7 meal for two and a disposable shank—though you have to choke up on it, stabilize it with thumb and forefinger in a saber grip, and hit something soft.
