To the men I coach:

You are aware that since my testicles began falling out of my pelvic floor and I can’t find a jock strap big enough to stuff them into, and my dead lift has been reduced to 50 pounds, I have been living the life of a literary hermit and only venturing forth with a knife to work twice or thrice a week as a nocturnal wage slave. I had intended to begin training again, and did have some sparring sessions with Charles and Erique last month that went okay. Unfortunately I’ve had to increase my sleep to five hours a day to remain functional and the school I coach out of has had its rent raised, which means Mister Frederick is pulling me off the coaching bench and putting me to work giving privates to martial arts and law enforcement people during the week.

The upside is this pays for our activities, so the remaining regular local guys [Brett, Charles, Erique, Craig] don’t need to fork out a mat fee. The downside is I have to rest and write on the weekend now.

You guys are welcome to use the back half of the school while Gabriel is running the Wing Chun session, and some of his guys, like Mike, might stay and spar with you. Gabe needs to be out of there by around 1:00 p.m., so please be considerate of his time.

I will only be up there for sparring and coaching in open sessions when Sean, Adam, Cory, or one of the other out-of-town fighters is coming in for a clinic. These appointments will be posted as events in this space.

Don’t forget Mister Clark has an open sparring session at PMMA down in Northpoint from 12-1 on Saturdays and it only costs $10.

Craig, if you need prep for a boxing or MMA bout I’ll forgo sleep, writing or the occasional traumatic tryst for a session so long as you can give me a lift both ways.

In the meantime I will be trying to develop out-of-state contacts in this region where you guys might be able to find sparring partners or opponents. Trying to find someone for Charles to fight with a stick is not going to be easy [I expect a mass exodus of Filipino stick-fighters fleeing the Mid-Atlantic region] but is one of this year’s fight-geek goals.

Armando, Sean, Dave and the other guys following the online manuals, I will restart the stick book this weekend and intend to finish the boxing book by the end of January—still 20 more entries on the jab to go.

Oh, if you see some fat dude with a white beard in your yard next week, I would normally suggest beating him senseless—but it might be me, so please hold back and give me a chance to identify myself.

Sincerely,

James