“James, there is this kickboxing event not far away that I heard about and was interested in entering. Would you still be interested in cornering me for that? I won’t be kicking, just boxing kickboxers.”

-Craig

Craig, I have agreed to corner you in boxing and reluctantly to do my terrible Craig Jackson imitation in—hell—they don’t even have a corner in those cages? Where do I sit your stool?

Your boxing and JuJitsu record recommend you for MMA.

But kickboxing?

Yes, I understand, you are just going to box while they kick box. I’ve done that. All in all it is easier than boxing a good boxer most of the time. But when it is not, it’s really not!

Here are my concerns:

1. You have not even told me what state we are going to.

2. I can’t drive—well, I can, but I go into a trance within five minutes and then we die! This is important. There has to be a third guy in case you get concussed.

3. What kind of kickboxing?

4. My deepest concern is not that you can’t kick with those chicken shins, but that the wondrous product of African-Irish miscegenation that is your skull has seen you through a number of tough spots and I suspect that you plan on letting some karate guy hit you in the helmet, and then beating him into pudding. The problem is, if he’s a really good karate guy, he might shin- or heel-kick you in the head and—although he would still fail to crack that motorcycle helmet imbedded in your skull—would damage your neck and KO you. That is what I’m afraid of, a tall dude with soccer legs—like Sean—doing a chip shot with your armored brain case.

I have actually done more sparring and coaching of kickers than straight up boxers, so do have a plan in mind for making you an anti-kickboxer. However, if you run into an Andy Hug, and the rules play his way, it’s good night. American boxers have fared terribly in K-1 events due to the rules.

Your best bet is an “American rules” bout, which is when they have to kick 8 times a round and have to kick above the waist. This is really a ridiculous sport. The problem is you can get DQ’d for not kicking. And if you go out there and don’t throw the minimum kicks you lose the round, so you have to KO these guys.

Dante did it, so you can do it.

If it is an international rules event then he can kick at the outside of your legs and it will be a hairy encounter if his movement is good.

If it is Muay Thai rules or K-1 rules, forget it.

The three weapons you need worry about the most as a boxer are:

1. Foot-jab, a Muay Thai technique for position

2. Back leg round-kick with shin, a Muay Thai technique to destroy your base

3. The side kick, a karate weapon that is under used and under rated and will knock you out

In other words, kickboxers who play for points always loose to a tough hard-hitting boxer like you, kick boxers who kick for position tend to get the decision or at least avoid the KO you need, and Muay Thai guys who can kick on the outside and knee and elbow on the inside, generally eat you up. Dante lost to a Muay Thai guy in a boxing match because the guy’s cardio was over the top and he had a hard head, and Dante hits even harder than you. You really don’t want to find that rare tough kickboxer. Those guys, you take in an MMA context or boxing match, but they kill you in their sport.

So, that said, I’m there, but you need to put some sparring in with Sean and Morgan, and you are not allowed to hit Morgan.