Goose

January 4, 2016 3:36 PM EST

>JL: Rare is the boxer who can hurt you while he is moving away from you. When studying those who do, a close look will indicate that they are not moving away at the instant they hurt their man

Here is a good demonstration of this, at the 5:50 mark:

Thank you, Goose, I will post my analysis below the video window.

Okay, first things first, the dancer with the glasses, if she will dress up as a nurse and attend me afterward, I will fight either one of these mutants!

Okay, for the Neanderthal Resistance readers, if you are standing at a bus stop or metro station in downtown Baltimore surrounded by hoodrats, and you see these two dudes there waiting to escort the Romanian Ambassador to the mayor’s office for his blow job, stand between them and you will be safe. Indeed, the testosterone clinging to your clothes after standing next to them should repel hoordats for three days!

Seriously, American white men, if you guys could just earn yourself a fraction of this aura in the ring, when you walked down the streets of Harm City U.S.A. the hoodrats would dive into doorways and hide shivering and gnashing their teeth in fear in their dens. I doubt very much that any hoodrats—or even Turkish Hip Hop imitators—are mugging Romanian men with impunity. Look at those cave men in the audience! Look, the promoter of this five star event even has an ebony slave girl among his dancers—and she’s not even the slutty one!

Okay, this is crude but effective and that much easier to track. Freeze frame the fight at 5:57 and you see the huge guy literally running forward in his kickboxing counter step and the Carpathian Death planting his weight on his rear left foot and launching a bent arm straight punch which is really a cross, which the freak runs into and essentially becomes the victim of a head on automobile collision, with his jaw behaving like a 2014 Hyundai and the Romanian fist standing in for the 1974 Impala.

Men as muscular as the big man have a hard time punching correctly and tend to muscle things. Any time you see a muscle guy reaching with the rear hand, which he did the entire fight, and also setting it up by ranging with a bent lead hand instead of jabbing, walk him into something and knock him out.

Seriously, in a straight up boxing match I think I KO the big muscle guy, even in my herniated dotage. However, my arm might snap when I KO him, possibly necessitating a full week of Romanian nursing care…

Thanks, Goose, and I hope they did release these two back into the wild after the fight, as the announcer suggested.