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'My Inconsiderate Young Friend'
A Note on the Resurrection of a Dead Ethos
© 2016 James LaFond
FEB/5/16
Darlene is a small, older white woman, hovering round retirement age, wondering if she will even be able to take that step without plunging into abject poverty. She has worked as a cashier in supermarkets for all of her adult life, and likes to think that she has learned the lessons of survival in Harm City.
"I learned a long time ago that black women will just shove you out of the way or beat you up, so I step aside. I've also been shouldered out of the way by enough of their men not to expect any chivalry. Fortunately I'm now at the age were every other one is not trying to have sex with me. At work, the men won't protect you. On the street, most white guys won't step in to help you. So I do the little miss feminist maid thing, and hold the door for everyone. When I go to the Seven-Eleven it's like I'm the greeter, men and women filing in and out while I hold the door. It keeps me off the radar. It's one way to keep the blacks from getting angry at your presence and going out of their way to mess with you.
"So yesterday, I'm at the Seven-Eleven, going in to get my coffee, and I hold the door for everyone. Last coming in are these two Hispanic men, one in his twenties and one in his thirties. The young one just pushes by—I'm hiding behind the door, really—but the older one—which really makes me feel old—stops, looks at me, and takes the door. He says, 'Miss, please, before me. I insist and apologize for my inconsiderate young friend.'
"His English was much better than what you usually hear in Baltimore, from the majority. He was not one of the short big-headed ones, but kind of tall and tan, well-groomed.
[These sound like Hondurans or Dominicans, not Mexicans of Salvadorans, which are the four groups we have in Baltimore, other than the hated, and relatively established, Puerto Ricans.]
"I thank him and go on, and he—I don't know how much has to do with my age—does not try to chat me up or get a date or my phone number, like a white or black guy would do, but just goes about his business. While I am getting my coffee, I see them heading out with their sodas and the older one is chewing out the younger one. I suppose the young one is acclimated to the American Way and is already acting like one of ours.
"While I'm at the counter stepping up to pay for my coffee, the gentlemanly one walks in, steps up next to me, and addresses the clerk, announcing that he is paying for my order. I tried to tell him it was not necessary and he said, 'But, Miss, it is necessary, to atone for the rudeness of my inconsiderate young friend. I apologize on his behalf.'
"He then paid for my order, wished me a nice day, and walked off without a second look. He seemed very business-like when he got into his car. The entire thing made me feel giddy, to be treated, not only like a human being for once in my life, but like a woman. I suppose chivalry is not completely dead. That was the first nice day I've had in some time."
-Darlene
Okay, readers, I am left with the impression that this man is a professional criminal. Sorry, but the only law-abiding people in Baltimore I run into with that kind of regard for women are elderly black men and middle aged white men. For some reason most elderly white men in Baltimore are extremely rude and callous towards women. I do not understand this, as the men in my family from Baltimore did not share that inclination. The exception to this rule has been successful black criminals in their thirties, who remain alive and free due primarily to their intelligence and attention to the people around them.
So, while I do not wish to rain on Darlene's parade, this dude has got to be Honduran hit man or something nearly as sinister. Hopefully he is a security consultant working with local businessmen, but I have my doubts.
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marko     Feb 5, 2016

Probably an upper class type-more European blood in him. Seem to be 2 classes in the Spanish culture. Oligarchy of Euro blood types run things for themselves. Notice that most if not all celebs and business notables look euro. They ride herd over the Indian and mixed types we are more accustomed to.

Look into the history of the Guatemalan civil war.

In any case i wouldnt mess around with this dude. he is not there for fun.
James     Feb 5, 2016

When I used to stock broccoli florets from Guatemala in the 80s, I always wondered if there were any peasant brains on the florets.
marko     Feb 5, 2016

probably. more likely fertilizer
Fatmanjudo     Feb 5, 2016

Chewed out his associate for being rude. He could have just been kind without discussing it with his friend. Involving his friend in his gallantry makes it sound like he was putting on a show for someone. It's like he is saying "Just because we kill people doesn't mean we can't also be nice guys." I think he is usually one of those strong silent killers you so admire and was in a good mood.

I wanted to ask you. In a previous article you discussed how you started an attack and at some point you were outside your body watching yourself. Sorry I could not find the article to reference you too. This sounds like the "no mind" state sought after in the martial arts. Do you have any insite on attaining this or comments on the experience. Too bad you can't interview Darlene's friend on this topic. He probably has lots of experience in that state of mind.
James     Feb 9, 2016

I have had this happen to me numerous times. It is not a discipline, but an accident, I think. It usually occurs right after I experience fear, and then get angry at myself for being fearful, which seems to cause a kind of shift. I should try and figure this out but I'm fairly averse to self-examination. It has happened in competition when I was concussed. I'll talk to my doctor about it.

I will write on this when I get my head halfway wrapped around it.
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