“Okay, dude, if I’m a slave back in the day, whatever color, who is the shittiest, meanest Master I could have, and who is the best? While you’re at it, who were the worst slaves, the shit slaves that nobody wanted, like the Jello with fruit in it?”
-Steevo
5 Best Slave Masters, By Type
5. The richest class of American plantation owners were generally disinclined to excessive cruelty in the 1800s, after the various cash crop industries [sugar, cotton, tobacco] had been long established and partially mechanized. Of the three, sugar plantation work was the toughest. Ironically, these people were often the descendents of the most cruel and wicked slave masters of the 1600s.
4. New England Puritans abided by biblical slavery codes, as did the Jews and Quakers, but were prone to fits of cruelty, especially to English slave boys who refused to take up their brand of the protestant faith.
3. Quakers were stern and emotionally cruel masters, but were not prone to torture and kill their white slaves and were known to be especially kind to their black slaves.
2. American Jews were regarded by black slaves as the best master to be owned by.
1. Dutch Sephardic Jews abided by strict semi-humanitarian religious laws when it came to the treatment of both human and animal livestock.
10 Worst Slave Masters, By Type
10. Poor, Scotch-Irish slave-owners, who were formerly enslaved themselves, made brutal masters and overseers.
9. American Indians of the Southern United States, such as the Cherokee, were almost impossible to escape from and known for working their livestock hard.
8. Catholic priests, who bought protestant boys as sex slaves—a worldwide practice from the 600s through the 1600s—would be low on my pick as desirable owner.
7. English factory and mine owners in the 1800s, who bought 4-5-year-old children and worked them to death before age 12.
6. Turks, who bought white men as sex slaves
5. Arabs, who castrated black men to guard their women as eunuchs
4. English plantation owners in 1600s Virginia, who beat, starved and worked to death 90% of their child slaves, and cut the ears and branded the faces of back-talkers and runaways.
3. French plantation owners in pre-revolutionary Haiti were abominable people, speculating in human misery, and then taking their profits back to France and drinking their old age away under a powdered wig.
2. Haitian Mulattos, who were largely stuck in Haiti and treated blacks with unparalleled cruelty
1. Aztecs, who would rip your heart out and eat you, are my pick for worst slave masters of the Modern Era!
5 Worst Slaves, By Type
5. Any man from a primitive hunting society, such as Native Americans and the indigenous people of Taiwan, will either run away or stare off into space until they die of starvation or exposure.
4. Scottish men were stubborn, violent and rebellious.
3. Irish women were hated by slave mistresses and strict protestant slave masters for their sexual license and catholic proclivity to get pregnant.
2. Maroons, being African warriors sold as war captives, would immediately go feral—often with the sugar cane machete they were handed by their overseer—and head for the hills or swamps, living in predatory bands and waging unending guerilla war on their former masters.
1. Irish men, who were violent, rebellious and prone to murder their masters rather than run away, were the most hated slaves, driving the Dutch Sephardic Jews to expand the African slave trade, these renown misers being more than willing to pay four times as much for a “docile” African than have to deal with the murderous, discount chattel that was the Irishman.
Note: Under Oliver Cromwell and his men, five of every six Irish persons—including elderly and children—were sold into slavery, effectively depopulating the Island, which was then divided up into English estates, upon which the remaining Irish were enslaved.
To book James for motivational speaking engagements and to have him speak to people on suicide watch, call 443-686-0598
There is something to be said about the suicide watch quip. Reflecting upon miserable historical circumstances is my cure for self pity. Anyway I laughed at that comment.
Many Chattel slaves, killed themselves, why not wage slaves?