When faced with a more powerful and more numerous enemy, who has all of the cool stuff, all of the big things, controls your food supply and is brainwashing all of those people like you that might otherwise be of some use to your righteous schemes, where can you turn for advice, for help, for the inside scoop on the evil enemy agenda?
You need a traitor, a defector, someone who has walked a mile in the enemy's sneakers.
Fellow children, look no further, for I, James LaFond, was once in your shoes, was once a put upon "kid," the lowest of the low. My qualifications follow:
1. I was an evil, manipulative grownup, imposing my will on kids.
2. I was once a rabid victim of the teenage zombie hordes, and know what is in store for you in a few short years, when your entire world goes insane, and your friends begin to suck as much as grownups!
3. I have been a super grownup, also known as a boss, imposing my will on grownups as if they were children—now that sucks!
4. I am currently a grandparent, and am reaching out across the generations to help those less knowledgeable about grownups than I.
Why?
What is my motivation to help you kids?
Can you trust me?
Won't the other grownups kick me out?
To the extent that you can trust any grownup—who, when they are feeling like big shots, or want to watch something really crumby on the TV, like to call themselves adults—you can count on me to deliver the goods against the common enemy. Because, the truth is, that I'm the kid that got away! I never did grow up!
Now lets get to work. We have like eight billion insane, selfish, thieving grownups to undermine—and their is no time like now. The younger you are when you put this action plan into motion, the better you will be at bamboozling grownups when the grownup dog dirt hits the teenage fan.
For now, just be sure and assume that every grownup is out to get you, and that whatever grownup is not out to do you wrong, is basically retarded when it comes to dealing with the really nasty grownups that dominate the grownup world—which is a bigger mess than your richest friend's bedroom.
Somewhat OT—Have you seen this, James?
sacramento.cbslocal.com/2016/02/26/watch-video-surfaces-of-alleged-fight-club-at-grass-valley-high-school
2 possible responses by "authorities":
Scream "OMG! Why, why, why?", clutch pearls, faint backwards onto couch, and demand that SOMETHING be done, or
Start a boxing team.
Your thoughts?
Start a boxing team, of course.
I'll check the video link out.
You may like:
alfin2101.wordpress.com
and the main blog:
alfinnextlevel.wordpress.com
His slogan is "Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. It is never too early or too late to have a Dangerous Childhood."
Will use it, thanks.