“You see that guy, that big long-haired guy, he’s off. I know it. I work in the medical field—a respiratory therapist. After working in enough hospitals you get a vibe for the crazies.

“Out in Los Angeles, I went to the Beverly Hills pizzeria for lunch and this black guy tried to take my purse and keys while I was waiting for the pizza. I fought him, fought my ass off, back-and-fourth. He finally got my purse, but not my keys. It made the news. He threw my purse in someone’s yard. I punished his punk-ass.

“When I was working down at Hopkins, headed to my car on the parking lot, this big black guy was walking in front of me, looking at me diagonally over his shoulder—real shifty like. I just knew something was up. Then when I got to my car he came back at me. I opened the car door a crack and when he got close slammed it on his ass. He went flying back and looked up, saw the police helicopter circling, and ran. They got him, were already looking for him when he came for me. He had just beaten and raped another white woman on the street in broad daylight. Not me!

“I hate junkies. Out at the Baltimore Coffee and Tea Company, the junkies all come down from the methadone clinic. They were all loud, so this eighty-one year-old lady asked them to keep it down and these junky bitches started giving her shit. No dice, I got up in between, confronted the ring leader, a pregnant, stoned whore with a baby in a carriage, and said, ‘Bitch, I will fuck your world up.’ Oh yeah, you bet that loser stepped off.

“I grew up in Mount Washington—all Orthodox Jews now. Now, I guess I have the Middle River accent.

“Last week I was at the Wawa [farm store] and I noticed this white guy sneaking up behind me—in the store. I’m at the counter and here he comes creeping up, backing off when I look, then creeping up again, measuring me for the purse snatch. Fuck that! I turned around and said ‘Punk, I will fight you to the death. You better step the fuck off!’

I slung my purse over my back and put up my dukes and said, ‘Bring it, pussy willow!’

“And you know what he does? He scoots around behind the soda display and changes his clothes. I was holding my phone up over the shelf filming that shit, saying, ‘Came with an escape plan too, didn’t you, you junky piece-of-shit!’

“And off he went. And on top of all of that shit, white junkies messing with you, and big black guys attacking—the black bitches are taking our men. Back in the day they always used to complain about white bitches taking their men, now their taking ours. Doesn’t leave a white girl much to chew on you know—do you work here all the time? Are you new? You seem like a nice man. I’m sick to death of crazies, punks and junkies. A girl wants a real man, some strong arms, you know!”

“See you around, baby!”