...the following grand tour of Harm City, wherein you shall rub shoulders with the poster-chyles of Urban Blight, pictured from left to right at the head of the site:

I shall introduce you to Pookie and Raw, who will earnestly set their hounds upon any feral paleface you would like brought before you for questioning.

We will then head across scenic Route 83 to practice riding stolen bikes with the Liberty Heights Boyz, pictured in the center photo.

To cap off the day, just before heading up into North Baltimore to stalk some fine young John's Hopkins flesh, you will enjoy an autograph signing—or your car, with spray paint—with the East Lavalle Boyz, who are depicted working hard in this photo, and are currently beholding to people of your complexion, for three paleface pigs recently gunned down some murderous elder home boy with a pink assault rifle who was angling on ruining the sunny day captured so eloquently by the terrified Goggle earth driver in the right most photo.

Thank you, Sam!