Are you an urban dude expecting a visit from a suburban babe?
Is this babe likely to return—or course she is, as soon as you train the bitch out of her!
Then, offer to cook. Say, "Baby, I've got dinner on the stove—just come straight over. I don't want you spending time or money feeding me. I just want you."
Of course that's complete bullshit, other than the fact that your cluttered microwave top can be loosely defined as a stove top.
When she arrives, put on the meal, a plate of nachos. Babes love nachos. Even bitches love nachos.
Use the authentic border jumper favorite, Charras sea salt and Chile Limon flavored tortillas, bought in the ethnic food aisle frequented by Latino construction workers.
Cover liberally with what ever kind of cheese Mister Mike has marked down for being close dated down at the ghetto grocery. Feta cheese is best, as chicks like it but will be so salty with these chips that they will be nigh unconsumable by a woman, especially one worried about retaining fluid!
She will eat enough to get thirsty but still be hungry.
Trust me, I tried this recently and it has the two desired effects.
First she will get really thirsty and with you having nothing to drink but beer, emotional lubrication and a resignation as to her purpose will soon overcome her.
Secondly, this babe will never again show up at your door without a home-cooked meal!
You are set, bro. One box of condoms [$4.99] and a bag of chips [$3.19] for under 10 dollars should net you three dedicated cooks for as long as you can juggle them.
Oh, and don't forget your ownership manual:
Bro, buy this book and it’s only a matter of time before the bitch queens that have ruined your life will have their hairstyle altered to accommodate your beer coaster!
