I always thought Louie was an aggressively styling whigger until he came up to Bubba and I at work this morning and said “You see my fight on Twitter? I know it wasn’t all that en people are sayin’ I lost because I went down. But he didn’t score clean on me and I was throwin’ down. It was over somethin’ stupid. But, Yo, I’m sick of big black dudes jus’ thinkin’ they can punk out a light-skinned dude. I go ta the gym, Yo. I box—you feel me? I ain’t but a hundred and fitty and I stayed with the big man.”

After Louie left with his order, Bubba showed me the mall fight on Twitter—some infernal virtual space I know naught of—and I watch a moderately schooled stand-up amateur boxer throwing hands with an older, shorter, stronger, one-dimensional aggressor who kept up the pressure until he got a takedown.

This was a draw, with both parties being separated by mall security as others crowded around videoing the action.

Louie’s first mistake was treating this altercation as a stare-down before a boxing match, resulting in him getting shoved and set back on his heels, which psychologically got him to step back in, which is what the stronger man wants. The opponent was crude enough that Louie could have stopped him with his boxing had he corrected the following fundamental errors:

1. He held his hands up high, but back toward his chin, not giving his lead hand the hand span it needs to work the measure, the check, the post and to be there first.

2. His defense was good at the expense of his offense, with his shoulders loosely shrugged to protect the chin, meaning he would have no steam on his jab, no connection with his feet to get his narrow ass aligned with his knuckles and that simian chin that was headed in, in, in.

3. Louis had good head movement, but relied on it too much against a muscle dude who didn’t seem to offer much punching power, resulting in him having to do his pass pivot when his head was out over one hip and not over his pelvic floor, which locked his hips and permitted Mighty Yo Slung to get a paw on him and bring it to the floor.

Louie did well enough on the floor, scoring an up-kick and scrambling to his feet. But, had he had a hand span, body continuity, a safety jab and a posted jab, then that fitted Yo –hat of his would have been cocked at a more arrogant angle last night, rather than tilting aimlessly in hip-hop despair.