Who are the loudest people?

The people with the least self control are the loudest.

My Grandmother Kern, descended from the Irish slave side of the family, used to cuss a blue-streak at my grandfather. Her favorite saying was, "Goddamn it, Fred!"

He, my German grandfather, would say "Oh, Mary, relax."

To which she would say, "Goddamn it, you relax, Fred!"

To which he would answer, "I am relaxing." Then he would smile slightly, wait for her to finish fussing and then kindly tell her how it was going to be. When he died she was a terrible sight to see, a formerly "strong" person now weak, for her strength was gone.

I have always attempted to emulate the quiet elders in my family, like my other grandmother, who was easily twice as smart as her in-law, the one descended from the Canadian white slaves, quiet as a mouse and sharp as a tack.

As a youth, I noticed that the strong men: the boxing coaches, wrestling coaches, the smart football coaches, and the strongest men in the family, would make you listen through force of will, with patience, by waiting for you to stop and then making you listen closely by not speaking too loudly. The pussies, though, the wannabe gym teachers and third rate high school football coaches, they all yelled.

My mother yelled when she couldn't get her way. I knew that for a woman, yelling was one step away from tearful meltdown or crazed explosion, both easily managed behavioral progressions in which the observer has a clearer tactical view than the actor.

The frightened white kids I rode the bus with yelled when we went through the black neighborhood, terrified yet emboldened by their high armored vantage point. I, the silent one, was the only one on the bus with the courage to walk through that same black neighborhood and they left me alone because I was quiet, quiet like the strong men that were still present in over half of black families, not loud like their babbling mammas, but silent like sentinels—how things have changed.

1. Those who feel unappreciated and unnoticed, who lack confidence and a centered being, make noise to draw attention to themselves, attention that their presence and deeds fail to earn.

2. Stupid people, who lack a vocabulary adequate to express their thoughts, will raise their voice when unable to impress others with their simple opinion.

3. Those who lack serenity, peace-of-mind, discipline, self-control, who lack the entire spectrum of warrior qualities necessary for the toilsome task of becoming skilled in combat. Those who lack the above qualities tend to demonstrate their failings through over verbalization and dependence on redundant verbal bonding [rap and hiphop, for instance] signaling to any warrior within earshot that they might be easily taken, especially once isolated from their support group. For example, the most respected fighter in Ancient Greece, was not a general, a king, or even the best at his warrior art, but a moral force. He was a champion boxer who single-handedly destroyed a slavery-ring masquerading as a religious cult. He was named Gracespeaker not Loudgrunter.

4. Women are more vocal than men for this very reason, that they are weak and powerless in real situations and must therefore be able to call for aid, plead for mercy and scream as they die so the other women can scatter and bring the men.

5. People representing a social power structure that is more powerful than they, that is more powerful than those they are charged with leading, directing, managing, torturing, etc., may effectively use increased vocal volume as a necessity in noisy situations and as a compliance amplifier. This is in imitation of the lion's roar, which startles the puny primate so that he will freeze and be easily torn apart. There is then, the fact that women, children and weaklings may be startled by masters and other aggressors via the use of the tactical shout, verbal raging, etc.

In the following installment we will begin with a legitimate uses of the tactical shout.

In the meantime, if you are interested in the concept, checkout my book Of Lions and Men.