This weekend, as I spent time with family in celebration of the put-upon woman who was tasked with bringing me into the world, I did pay attention to the American Narrative as it stands. I simply noted the race and gender of the commercial actors and the groupthink orators as they were presented for my complaisance, as a way of determining what type of people are preferred by my unseen masters. In following the Presidential Race, it seems the only two stories in public discourse today are race and gender, as stated by the future Queen of America as she spoke on the racism and sexism of the False-Haired One.

Below is the tally of speakers by race and gender that came into view on my Mother’s TV this weekend. The programming was 80% local and 20% national, none global, this being the only nation on earth that generates news.

Locally and nationally male and female populations are roughly 50/50.

Nationally black and white population is 6 to 1 white.

I realize we have other races and that Latinos outnumber blacks by at least 2 to 1, but the media assures me otherwise. For certainly, if there were a Latino population of any significance in America there would be representation in TV programming, correct?

Asians? Who are they? The media assures me that there are a few, but that they are firmly aligned and identified with blacks and black causes, so, Cracker, please!

Locally the white and black population is 10 to 2. That is right, a third of Baltimoreans are white and virtually all people in the surrounding counties are white, so it’s about 5 to 1.

Experts poled on the Kentucky Derby had whites outnumbering blacks by 3 to 1. Obviously, all of those black millionaires make horse racing the preferred sport, so this is understandable. Also though most of the riders were Latino, not one Latino expert was poled!

The general sports casting jobs were all held by white men at the local level and were dominated by white men at 3 to 2 nationally.

Of local news anchors, half were black men and half were white women. On the local news white men are only trusted with sports, and to a lesser extent, weather.

Self help gurus were 2 black men, 3 white women, 2 black women, 1 Asian woman and 1 white man. 5 to three in terms of gender, no Latinos and slightly tilted favoring whites, but still not in line with viewer proportions.

Admittedly the below is a small sample of perhaps 20 commercials.

The most fascinating aspect was the fact that in all of the many commercials I saw depicting American men as fathers and or mates there was only 1 of perhaps 20 commercials that depicted a white man with a white woman, and this commercial depicted two insane white people throwing stuff all over their lawn, while their two highly professional black neighbors sat with a financial adviser unlike the idiot whites, with the white advisor commenting on the idiocy of the white neighbors.

White fathers were only shown with their children when the mother was not present, and he was always made fun of.

The phone ads showed a white woman with an Asian man.

The other ads showed black men with black women or white women.

The only thing I take from this mix of commercials is that a white man and white women mating is seen by the media as some bizarre occurrence, which should not be depicted lest it be emulated and if it does happen, she better keep her distance lest she go insane like him.