The following is the method I developed for calming down irate men while working as the general manager of a Baltimore City supermarket and also as the head of security for a handful of collectable card events in the Washington D.C. area, both venues that were dominated by violent crime and aggressive behavior on the part of large, young, black men.
This also works with loud white men as well. With the whites you can get a better resolution because they usually respond well to smooth, low tones of voice imploring them to behave reasonably for their own self-interest. Do not try this with blacks as over 95% of black men and youth were abandoned by their father and abused by their mother, at some time and at some level, and they therefore behave like giant toddlers with the vocabulary of a welfare mother, whenever the unjust actions of white people have caused their anger to rise.
Understand
-When angry they have zero capacity for reason.
-If in the company of any other person who is not a white man they will resist being brought to reason, because…
-Their anger is sacred, the one thing in the world that respects the whimpering infant within who was slapped and screamed at in his cradle, in his stroller, in his high chair, in his car seat, and then kicked and punched and beaten as a toddler as he ambled about a cruel, uncaring world. His pain is immense and he will commit any outrageous act to vent it so long as he feels…
-A sense of justification, if only momentary, will enable him to act out violently and become deified as the Nat Turner of his own sorry drama, which no one will even watch unless he “does some really dumb shit.”
-He needs to have aggression, resistance to his aggression, or disapproval of his aggression—even understanding will do the trick [so don’t say “I understand” because you can’t], so do not feed his aggression with any of the following.
If you are being called to deal with this person detail an employee to call the police. In many cases him overhearing this will put him into pleading injustice mode rather than threat mode. But don’t be rude about it. Don’t let him think you wanted him to know the cops were coming. You must project confidence that you can deal with anything. Remember, he never had a daddy. Although he might hate to admit it, he’d give almost anything for a real daddy—even a white devil daddy like you.
Aggression Feeds
1. Do not speak to him.
2. Do not glare or otherwise make eye-contact with him.
3. Do not touch him.
4. Do not extend your hand towards him.
5. Do not step up to him.
6. Do not stand square with him.
7. Do not step back away from him.
8. Do not look away from him.
9. Do not walk away from him.
10. Do not challenge or disrespect his sacred, emasculated rage in any way, for it is the acid vat in which his resolve shall dissolve if he is left to soak in it.
11. Do not make eye contact but watch his chin and chest, which will permit you to notice the movement of his elbows. If you have stood at the proper distance he will not be able to touch you without moving his elbow.
Aggression Drains
1. Stand slightly off to his side, with your lead foot to the outside of his nearest foot.
2. If possible, step to the outside of his left foot with your right foot and then heel pivot so that you left foot and shoulder are behind and in line with your right side.
3. Slowly raise your rear left hand so that your wrist touches your nipple and your hand is open toward him, over your shoulder, in front of your neck. You have just denied two kills targets incase he breaks out a knife and you’re slower than him.
4. Your lead right hand should be one hand higher than his lead left hand and extended slightly, very slightly. If his hand is by his side, yours is by his belt. Etc.
5. Both of your hands are deployed defensively and are open.
6. Tuck your chin.
7. He will feel the need to maintain chest to chest or shoulder alignment confrontation with you and will step around with his rear foot. When he does so this takes emotional effort on his part and you step around to maintain your defensive, oblique orientation. Every time he steps around this requires him to recharge his anger and will dump the adrenaline that will poison him.
8. If he tries to touch you with either hand or both, slightly raise and extend the open hand detailed to that zone and draw off, doing a slight drag step that takes you diagonally away from his body, and places his lead foot between his rear foot and you, which will prevent him from striking hard with his rear hand.
9. Once you have extended a hand or hands in response to his crowding you [but have drawn off to avoid having to resist with your hands] do not lower that hand or hands. If you do, he may strike.
10. When he pleads with you to argue, to fight, shrug your shoulder and tilt your head gently, as if you are stupid.
11. If he looks down to his right he’s going to sucker punch you with that hand as he looks back up. In response to him looking down, step off again, behind his lead foot and he will have to reset.
12. If this backs you against a wall, slide along it.
13. If your continual step around is blocked by an obstacle, duck slightly behind your open hands as you step off to his other side and employ the mirror image gambit from there.
14. If he attacks, defend yourself with your extended open hands as you step around and draw off.
What Usually Happens
1. Such men usually begin to worry that the calm responder is calm because he is assured that the police will side with him, or that the responder is some kind of psycho, and the only thing that scares blacks into a surely silence is “A stone cold white muthafaca” “who is crazy too.”
2. Wolfers, or noisily threatening men of any type, are either permanently or temporarily emasculated. If this is a guy you know, just talk him off subject as you get between him and his target and save him some embarrassment. If you are not someone who he trusts and respects, a black man will not let you talk him down and you must instead adopt the role of tiring, oblique target of his rage. This is a woman with a penis and he will have the same need as a woman to escalate his anger through adversarial verbalization in order to build courage for an attack on you and also to build resolve among his companions. His companions draw closer to his cause with every word you say, and draw more unsure of his course with every considered silence that meets one of his raging statements.
3. Raging is tiring business and he will usually drift away, in stages, stepping back at you repeatedly to make a threat or lodge an accusation. However, his steps away will be longer then his steps back to you. This is generally a face-saving tactic.
4. Their lack of intelligence and extremely limited vocabulary—which ironically often leads to such outbursts—will often solve the problem, as they repeat the same rageful sayings over and over again, eventually calming themselves. All it takes from you is one word to wipe their frail memory of shouting threats clean and they will amp back up and rage with renewed fury. You wouldn’t speak during a funeral service, would you? Well, this is the funeral of his masculinity—whatever shreds he might have held on to. Have some respect, you white devil.
5. On some occasions raging urban justice heroes will begin to hyperventilate, rub their head in an attempt not to cry, wring their hands in frustration as they prance, hang their head in shame or in brooding insolence, lose their voice, and even break down in tears, which will usually result in them turning away in shame. This can happen within a minute, usually two, and few bitch-raised boys are able to rage for more than five minutes. This stuff exhausts stage actors and they rarely smoke, let alone smoke Newport Menthol Kings and Dutch Masters cigars stuffed with low quality weed.
6. At this stage you may wish to offer your support as a way of helping him save face. You don’t want to punk him out and then have him come back and shoot you. I have used some of the following:
Forging a Truce
I use “Sir,” “man” or “young man” interchangeably to fit his age, so he doesn’t feel like he’s being played.
1. “Sir, are you okay? Do you need something to drink?” [Help him save face.]
2. “Sir, is there anything I can do for you?” [Do not use the term “help.”] If he needs a job, offer to sit down and draw up his resume and give him a job lead. My competitor—Mister Mike, over in Hamilton—had many such men sent to him looking for work, and he never even thanked me!
3. “Sir, would you like to join for a reading of the Gospels? It’s been a day since I opened myself to the Lord. I’d be glad”—by this time they’re usually running. But just for authenticity’s sake, I always have a copy of the New Testament in my backpack!
4. “Man, if you need to talk, I’m here for you.”
5. “Sir, I would be willing to speak on your behalf to the police, so there is no misunderstanding about this.”
6. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Sir. We all lose our temper sometime.” That always got me a disbelieving look and usually the following, “Even you?” “Yes, even me. I just can’t figure women out sometimes.” Then they look up at you with a sparkle in their eyes, having found common ground and sympathy all at once, and you’re richer by one more less than useless friend.
The main thing is to be steady, calm and unthreatening, behaviors that these people rarely see together and which encourages them to begin thinking before they speak, and thinking for such people is a herculean task—so help a brother out and be his Atlas. The ability to demonstrate respect [You can respect the space they occupy, at least.] and calm resolve in the face of verbal abuse, is the behavioral component of this method. The rest is simply a matter of body mechanics, of practicing the oblique position changes, something you can employee your irate mate for as she rants and raves about the myriad things that assail her peace of mind.
Running Bitch Boys and Bitches will conclude with #4, When Silverbacks Bitch: Reading the Intent Behind Verbal Insults for Palefaces and Nubian Princes.
We need a video of this. Sell a DVD or .mp4 on Amazon.
This is really fantastic advice. Thank very much.
"...3. Slowly raise your rear left hand so that your wrist touches your nipple and your hand is open toward him, over your shoulder, in front of your neck. You have just denied two kills targets incase he breaks out a knife and you’re slower than him..."
I'm confused.
I think I got this but is it really...raise left hand palm facing towards the aggressor, over right shoulder in front of neck. Elbow at left nipple height.
or should the hand, facing the aggressor, be more towards the center of your body? Left?
I can't make my wrist touch my nipple and be over my shoulder at the same time. Maybe you've got really high nipples? :)
With the left hand up like this it protects the neck from knives and you can make a horizontal, upward or downward motion with the left hand to block his strong right hand strikes. Correct???
What you want to accomplish with your left arm is to have the forearm in front of the heart off to the side, as the knife stab from a pocketed blade will come from an oblique inward arcing angle, and the slash will come at your neck—quite naturally, without intent—so you want your hand up there. With id all the way back and open it is not offensive, and if you have to fight, when you step off you already have the rear hand boxing—Jeet Kune Do guard up.
The tactical readiness you describe is on point.
You will ward off blows with your rear hand and keep him at bay with your lead hand. If he pulls a knife you sacrifice the left hand and bring the right hand in to get a double grip on his wrist or if he is bigger your step off and retreat behind your hands to the right.
If he is bigger and faster and has a knife, press the self-destruct button on your nuclear wrist watch and clatter your mandibles, with studied defiance, at him... These humans can be very lethal. That is, after all, why we come to this planet to hunt—for honor!
You don't want to lead with the left because your heart and aorta are on that side.
Thanks this is great advice. I see people getting wound up and clenching their fist like boxers. I see how this open handed stance is much better, less threatening, and still very effective. You can always close the hand before you hit him.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how all the fights I see on YouTube they now seem to start kicking the head when anyone goes down. I haven't been in a fight in a long, long time but I never remember anyone doing that. If someone went down and stayed that way it meant they were done and nothing else was needed. The point was made. Now they're trying to kill people. Stomping on someones head probably has a high average of killing someone or at the very least brain damage.
Things are really getting out of hand and if Whites don't find some way of putting the fear of God in our enemies we'll go the way of the dodo.
At one time when Blacks or whoever attacked Whites hoards of Men would invade their space and start burning houses and kicking ass. Maybe not the most efficient way of going about things but it worked. We are eventually going to have to go back to some kind of serious retaliation tactic to bring back the fear.