On all fronts, those who dindu nuffin have made strides—or have had them made for them as they slept off that nasty Steel Reserve hangover—on this glorious early summer week:
-Baltimore County Police are now wearing cameras, so, so…well, hopefully that will work to Dindu advantage, just saying that we should try and be optimistic while remaining careful.
-The Baltimore City Police Department will spend $370,000 on gunfire censors, so that they will know where the caps are being busted and make sure they go the other goddamned way.
-In June 2016, the most dangerous place to take an afternoon stroll in Baltimore County was in front of the 8th District Precinct at Putty Hill and Old Harford Road in Parkville.
-The Baltimore City Police Department is now embracing “the sanctity of life” as a policing philosophy. There is no news as to whether the rumor is true that Jain religious advisors will be brought in from Southern India for advice on wearing insect protection masks. Come on, Webone, it is to protect the insects—they got life in them too!
-Baltimore City rappers are advising that any Dindu who can afford it flee Baltimore City, as the Dundids [figure it out] seem to be ratcheting up their hip hop manhunt.
-Baltimore County has got this fit, baby doll cop named Miesha, with a badass, apple-bobbing ponytail, so hopefully her cute ass will be pulling your dumb ass over this July 4th holiday weekend instead of Officer Joebob.
-The Chief of Baltimore police has asked that you deal your drugs in front of the blue light camera stands, not behind them, or in the blind spots caused by the school walls. So please, do your part.
-The Maryland Court of Appeals has outlawed the shackling of gangbanging young hoppers.
-Home invasions and robberies are increasingly being reported as burglaries in Baltimore County. So if you’re working in the stickup trade, try job rotation and go in for some home invasions, which should be aided by…
-A bunch of dumb, rich, crackers and a few praying fools are pushing for new gun restrictions in Maryland, which will hopefully help us increase our H.I. numbers. [No, Webone, I'm not one of you, but my readership is built on the dumb shit you do, so I am concerned!] Let’s just hope that they don’t find out that the guns are not sentient, ambulatory assassins, but merely weapons.
Thriving in Bad Places
