YouTube commentator, Tommy Sotomayor discovered a few years back that The Terminator movies were in fact a cover for a real Skynet cybernetics program, that, rather than take over the world for a self-aware computer network, serves the function of emasculating African American men and producing violet mobs of urban youth aggressive enough to terrorize civilians but with enough “bitch in the blood” from being “bitch-raised,” instead of fathered, to prevent them from becoming a real threat to the government.

Since Tommy is not a social scientist he has tended to use the most abundant model of Black Terminatrix or “BT-1000” as shorthand for the entire cybernetic catalog and has also used various model numbers with a modicum of accuracy. So, in the interest of Science, we, at the National Institute for the Study of the Dinduological Arts, have commissioned Webone Shoop, renowned [in East Baltimore] Dinduologist, to make sense of this admittedly confusing variety of BT units.

So, Professor Shoop, how does one define the BT-1000 and other models?

“Jungle Jim, you might be a cracker, but at least you know how to admit when your conniving kind had the demise of my kind in mind. The fact is, Crackerkind invented the BT-1000 when y’all started paying our women to kick our asses to the curb as soon as they drop a baby. So it is not a factor of these bitches being built—or even being machines—but of their minds being reprogrammed with advertising, which is amplified by the possession of an EBT card, kind of like a signal amplifier and the signal goes off when they are first impregnated, which gets you the following Cybedine upgrade table. The dates are not date of birth, but date of transmogrification, which happens at impregnation. Hell, the bitch will be whooping yo ass and it won’t make no sense as she always been a sweet little shorty up until then, then here comes the baby bump…

BT-800, activated from 1965-80

BT-900, activated from 1981-95

BT-1000, activated from 1996-2006

BT-1100, activated from 2006-2014

BT-1200, activated from 2015-2200

“As you can see, activation rates are increasing as shelf-life decreases, making for a volatile mix.

“Oh yes, if you rich crackers still want to continue sending these bitches to destroy black culture in urban and suburban America, by all means go to the cybernetic salon and get your wigs, hair-extensions, seven-inch hooped earrings, Vietnamese fingernails and gold teeth!”