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Drunk Bitches
Chili Boy Joe and Aunt Margie
© 2016 James LaFond
JUL/23/16
Joe was recently at a party of the Caucasian kind. Upscale Caucasian, not that low-rent shit. Joe, though, is Jamaican. He attended the party with a platonic lady friend. Also at this party was the former boyfriend of his date, who is newly married. Part of the reason why Joe was there, was to keep the newly married, former boyfriend away from the young lady, who had grown tired of his continued attentions after marriage. The ex-boyfriend and the date both became very drunk. Joe became involved in conversations with the other party goers as his date wandered from room to room, trying to get away from her ex-boyfriend, whose wife was also at the party.
The wife, was so upset over the attention that her new husband was paying to his ex-girlfriend, that she got so drunk that she passed out in the room where all the coats were laid out. In the meantime, Joe’s date was nodding out on the couch having drunk so much that she was barely conscious. Joe kept an eye on the situation and was shocked when the ex-boyfriend, finding his wife passed out drunk in the other room, came to his date and began coaxing her to get up and go out to his car with him. Not wanting to be the black guy beating up the white guy at the white party in the all-white neighborhood, Joe picked his date up and carried her out to his own car and drove her home.
His date passed out drunk on the way home. Joe had a hard time waking her up once he arrived at the house where she lived with her family. He retrieved her keys from her purse, heaved her over his shoulder and carried her up both flights of stairs to the back door. He did not want to be seen hauling a limp, white woman around this neighborhood. As Joe carried up to the back door and began to unlock it, he had nightmare thoughts about what he would do to any negro he saw hauling his daughter up the stairs and hoped her father didn’t have a gun.
To Joe’s relief, the back door was opened for him by the girl’s mother, who invited him in, walked him upstairs to her bedroom, held the door open while he laid his friend down on the bed, and then said, “I think you kids need some alone time,” and shut the door.
Joe told me, “Here I was, afraid the family was going to shoot me for hauling their daughter around, and they’re giving her away. She was really out of it and wanted to have sex with me, but I’m not going to have sex with a drunk girl, especially somebody I didn’t get together with for that purpose. She asked me to lay with her and hold her, so I did, until she fell asleep. Then I went downstairs. When I went downstairs, there was another woman there, who was drunk. It was the aunt. It was a houseful of pussy. Mom, the aunt, and the daughter, all single. Mom asked me to stay, because she was cooking chili, so I stayed and ate the chili, while the aunt drank and looked at me. Eventually, I’m drinking too, on the couch, with the aunt, while mom’s taking pictures of us, like I’m a teddy bear, and posting it on her Facebook, titled, ‘chili boy.’ They kept calling me their chili boy. I eventually fell asleep on the couch and woke up the next morning while the aunt was fixing me breakfast, eggs and cheese. So that was my Saturday night.”
In our emasculated day and age, there are ever more all-female households. On every block in your neighborhood, there’s gonna be a hen house. Whether you’re going to take advantage of this is entirely up to you. Chili boy had better things to do.
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B     Jul 23, 2016

Chauffeuring around drunk bitches whose life is a mess is a good way to go to jail or otherwise get involved in their mess (for instance, by getting clocked in the back of the head by an upset ex.)

Any female that tells you about what an asshole her ex was, or otherwise tries to involve you in the dog's breakfast that is her personal life is an instant write-off. In this case, it's obvious that this bitch was hoping to get your friend involved in a fight with her ex, in order to vicariously enjoy the sight of two primate males fighting over her. That's the kind of shit that a woman raised by a single mother thinks is a good idea. He's an idiot and patsy for going, and is lucky he didn't end up in a world of shit. The proper response is "a great way to avoid your ex at this party is to spend the evening cooking me dinner at my house." Give her a manageable task with a clear reward on a short timeline.

Bars and parties are a bad, bad place. A hostile environment full of drunk strangers, some of whom are assholes, where you are expected to drink. I mean parties in the American sense, not like a group of friends getting together.

I don't think I've ever materially improved my life, met someone who turned into a good friend, or learned something new at one of these.

And I'm lucky-I never had anything bad happen as a result of this shit. No DUIs, no knocked out teeth, no nothing. But I have had plenty of friends who did. One guy got in a fight in a bar and got his ear bit off-now he's got to walk around for the rest of his life with a missing ear. Another (an SF guy) had a friend mouth off to a bouncer, got involved, got jumped by bouncers in the parking lot, and was being choked out from behind by one of them when he decided to fix the problem by stabbing the guy in the leg. Well, in the short term, he fixed the problem. In the long term, he ended up being tried and had to plea to a misdemeanor assault to avoid a felony conviction. Etc, etc.

I can barely remember the last time I've been in a bar or at a stranger party, and don't miss it in the slightest.
James     Jul 23, 2016

This is an excellent comment, B.

Thanks. I would say that most of the fighters I have dealt with have been ruined by such things as Joe hazarded here.
Jeremy Bentham     Jul 25, 2016

B is right. Cigareets n’ whisky n’ wild, wild women… they’ll drive you crazy…they’ll drive you insane…

bing.com/videos/search?q=cigarettes+and+whiskey+and+wild+wild+women&&view=detail&mid=A86C27F21E21B4B38CBFA86C27F21E21B4B38CBF&FORM=VRDGAR

But wasn’t that a party?

bing.com/videos/search?q=wasn%27t+that+a+party+song&qpvt=wasn%27t+that+a+party+song&FORM=VDRE
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