Oliver was supposed to have a fight tonight, a kickboxing bout that has been scheduled for two months. He has been training for 15 years and had allowed family commitments and female distractions to keep him in the gym and on the fringe doing martials arts events and stick-fights. After I agreed to coach and corner him, he set his fighter’s heart on getting some fights in his 30th year, craving the experience he almost put off for too long. Oliver knows that he’s not going to be a champion starting at 30, but does want to test himself in the crucible of the ring or cage, within the insanity of a spectator event, which brings a higher order of experience than the lonely battle with one stick fighter while a handful of others look on. One problem with being a fighter in Oliver’s situation is the need to manage himself. I do not manage fighters, have few connections. I am simply his trainer and advisor.
Oliver has been on the phone sporadically with the promoter, who is based in New Jersey and promotes kickboxing and MMA events from there down to the Carolinas. The following are Oliver’s questions to me in the wake of his fight falling through.
“This promoter was real bad about returning calls and making commitments early on, but just this week, as this thing finally fell apart with the second fighter he had for me pulling out, he suddenly became good about returning my calls and now wants me to fight in his upcoming events. But I don’t know if I want to deal with him now, after this disappointment. Should I continue dealing with this promoter?”
I have promoted 11 events now and can tell you that I will never do it again, primarily because out of every ten guys that come to you and tell you that they want to fight in your event, four will pull out. They pull out mostly because of injuries at the top end of the game. But among beginners their coworkers, mother, sister, wife or girlfriend are all putting doubts in their mind and trying to keep them out of the ring. It sounds like he was going to throw you in with others new to his promotion, figuring that you would most likely flake out and he didn’t start taking you seriously until then end when the other guys were bailing. You have passed a litmus test of sorts. He wants you more now, so switch your tack to making sure you’re not being fed to a prospect by asking questions about the opponent and getting video of him.
“He offered me an MMA fight in Carolina. But I’m not sure about my ground game…”
If you are not sure about your ground game you do not take an MMA fight. You also don’t take your first MMA fight that far away, because there are too many ringers out there. Get your feet wet in amateur boxing, grappling events and kickboxing, before you try mixing your skill set in front of a crowd.
“What about amateur boxing? Alex says he can get me some fights.”
Alex knows the amateur boxing game and you can trust him to look out for you, so take some fights and try to win by knockout without falling into a clinch. Fight like a pro. You will lose any fight that goes to a decision. But it’s the only way to use amateur boxing to prep for more serious forms of combat.
“What about pro boxing? Jamal is turning pro with Jake. Can I trust Jake?”
Jake is not named “the Snake” for nothing. You can trust him to kiss you after he fucks you. Jamal is a young prospect who Jake will get easy fights, bringing guys up from the Carolinas or out of West Virginia or rural Pennsylvania. You, on the other hand, are tough, old and hit hard. Jake would throw you in there with some white devil out of Youngstown Ohio with a head like a brick and sixty amateur fights under his belt. I would not get fights through Jake unless he manages you, which means he takes two thirds of your purse. It beats getting thrown in with a ringer so he can get an easy win for Jamal. The same goes for dealing with John Rallo at Ground Control for pro MMA—don’t take his matches unless he has a vested financial interest in you developing a winning record.
“Every man thinks meanly of himself for not having been a soldier, or not having been at sea.” -
- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
“It is not part of a true culture to tame tigers, any more than it is to make sheep ferocious.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
James, you have identified an exceptionally pernicious problem facing our society. Namely the ruinous effect of females talking young American men out of doing things they want to do. Especially anything manly or adventurous or with the least hint of danger to them. Anything like boxing, learning to shoot or serving in the military. Anything that would help the young men become more worldly, self-actualized, self-reliant and self-confident. Now on the other hand, nobody, but nobody is discouraging young American women from doing any of those things. Just the opposite. In the Rio Olympic Games at this very moment there is women’s boxing, women’s wrestling, women’s judo, women’s Tae Kwon Do and women’s shooting. Women are now encouraged to volunteer for military ground combat occupation specialties, like infantry, artillery, armor, combat engineers, Rangers and Special Forces. There is no sport or vocation that women are discouraged from undertaking today. Certainly not on the grounds of being too dangerous. For example has anyone at all expressed the least bit of concern that Ronda Rousey might get her brains scrambled from being knocked out in the octagon? Has anybody at all expressed any concern that she might possibly be disfigured in any way? Not only no but hell no! People cannot wait for her to face Holly Holmes once again. Her cauliflower ears are lauded by the media: youtube.com/watch?v=IVpZqoIDxeY. Now we have a former beauty queen taking up boxing: msn.com/en-us/sports/more-sports/a-former-miss-united-states-wins-her-boxing-debut/vi-BBvNmqe?ocid=spartandhp. Ironically enough I believe our young men would be well served to take the former Miss USA’s advice: “Anybody can do whatever the fuck they want!” Certainly they should cease taking counsel of their womenfolk’s fears (and envy). I do believe this issue begs for a literary expose written by none other than J. LaFond himself. I dare say it will be right up there with Upton Sinclair’s’ “The Jungle” in importance to society.
Not to pick on Oliver, but his situation serves to illustrate an important life lesson for other young men: it is that you cannot makeup in your 40’s for the opportunities you missed in your teens and 20’s. Life is short and one quickly becomes too old to do a lot of things. If you want to have any realistic prospect of achieving success at many pursuits you must start young.