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‘Bumfuckastanese’
What, Ebonics is No Longer the Lingua Franca of American Crime? Jeremy Bentham uses the P-word and the World Tilts!
© 2016 James LaFond
SEP/6/16
Jeremy is outworking me here on the Harm City beat—let me step aside…
Robbing The Banks Americans Won’t Rob - Language Barrier Thwarts Robber
Repeat after me: “Esto es un robo!” (This is a robbery!). This reminds me of that comical scene in “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” where our (anti) heroes Butch and Sundance encounter great difficulty in communicating their intentions to a Bolivian bank teller. Former schoolmarm Etta Place, the Sundance Kid’s squeeze, has to give the Yankee outlaws Spanish lessons so they can successfully continue with their stock-in-trade in the new country.
But all kidding aside James, we have trouble, right here in River City! It appears American society has become SO multicultural that we now have robbers who don’t speak English well enough to communicate their demands. This could lead to difficulties. Atrocities even. Like excessive pistol-whipping, hostage taking, torture, murder and bombings perpetrated by frustrated migrant robbers. Banks will have to hire interpreters who can speak Spanish, Arabic and even the various dialects of Bumfuckastanese (Dirka Dirka Dirka!) to communicate with this new variety of bank bandit. Social services will have to put up signs in convenience stores that robbers can point to or issue flash cards to potential migrant criminals (in English as well as languages indigenous to the Indian subcontinent) .
Local police forces will no doubt have to be closely monitored by the Department of Justice, lest the Pigs (especially in Harm City) rediscover that these migrant criminals are like billiard balls: the harder you hit them the more English you get out of them! ….Get it?.. Oh well….
Anonymous Conservative explains further.
Robbing The Banks Americans Won’t Rob
Posted on September 4, 2016 by Anonymous Conservative
It is tough when you don’t speak the language:
The suspect, who appeared to be in his 50s and spoke in halting English… and handed the branch manager a note demanding a large sum of money or he would set off a bomb.
It read:
“WE CAUTION WE HOLD TH BOMB, IF ONE TRIES TO (TREACHERY) WILL DIE AND SAIDTHAT YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO PlAY DIE WE NEED SEVENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS WITH OUT THE PIECE WE SEE YOU WELL AND YOUR FAMILY ARE WAITING FOR YOU AGINE NO (TREACHERY). (NB) READ 4 MINUTES SENT THE HOSTAGE BOMB WE NEED THE $75,000.00…”
The man tried to explain his demands but had trouble because of the language barrier and then asked for an Arabic interpreter, authorities said.
“The manager had an employee call an employee at another branch who speaks Arabic,” the affidavit stated. “The translator stated the male was asking to make a deposit…”
The note was written on the back of a withdrawal slip with a bank account number that police traced to a 31-year-old man they believe was the suspect’s accomplice, according to the affidavit.
As if things couldn’t get more ridiculous. I’m guessing the translator was a vet who picked up just enough Arabic to recognize this guy wanted money transferred and placed somewhere, he just didn’t catch the part about it being placed in his hand, so he could hotfoot it out the door.
Imagine the frustration of the bank robber, who has come all that way, built up all of that motivation, and the teller can’t read his note. So then he is forced to ask for a translator. Then he is thwarted by a bad translator who mistranslates his demand for the money. Then the teller plays dumb. At that point, I would have made a scene. At its core, this was really a failure in migrant services.
We are approaching a magic moment. This is where there is so much fucked up with the entire nation that the fucked-upedness and incompetence is beginning to interfere with itself and slow our descent. This is what life is like when you have so many enemies that when they all move in to fuck you over at once, they get in each other’s way and screw each other up more effectively than you could parry their attacks.
Yes, we have imported violent savages. Yes, our population is totally pussified and moronic. Yes, our idiot government demands we try to make the migrants lives as easy as possibly by offering them all manner of services. But between our illiterate imported savages (with very little stick-to-it-iveness, I might add), and the barely literate halfwits that man our banks who can actually see the word “BOMB” next to “$75,000” in a letter handed to them and still not figure out it is a robbery, and our translators who can’t actually understand the languages they specialize in, what should have been a total victory for evil ends up as if there had never been an attempted robbery in the first place. It all evens out.
We are still on course for the collapse, just this may be the comedic phase of the decline.
Again, migrants tend to be r-strategists. The vast majority of these migrants chose to come to America in search of free resources. When resources aren’t as free as they want, they will seek free resources wherever they can, at almost any cost. Be ready to either not get in their way, or drop them where they stand.
It’s a mighty interesting little Apocalypse we are cooking up here.
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Shep     Sep 6, 2016

"Migrant criminals are like billiard balls..." I'm stealin' that one and I'm gonna claim credit for it.

AnonCon is a great site. Lot of overlap with LaFond Nation and some really interesting science behind it.
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