For once this summer an edition of the corporate rag Baltimore Sun is worth reading. The top three front page stories are kid-friendly cooking, baseball and an African penguin exhibit. Down the right side of the page Tavon White’s plea bargain is featured. The fact that he is the leader of The Black Gorilla Family is downplayed with the acronym BGF. Since this is my favorite gang, I have now resolved to follow the case. From here on out I will not mention the name of their prodigious father of a leader, as I do not want to get on his muscle’s radar screen. Henceforth he shall be referred to as Commander Booty Master, for reasons that will become apparent in a few lines.
Here is a brief list of biographical facts about Commander Booty Master, including alleged crimes committed while behind bars at the Baltimore Detention Center, some of which come from illegal street sources, and not this 7/17/13 article.
1. Commander booty master is 36 years old, has a light copper complexion, a pencil thin Billy D. Williams mustache, and a #5 natural do. His neck is as wide as his head and his eyes are small and spaced widely enough to indicate him as a likely light heavyweight boxer.
2. While awaiting trial on attempted murder charges enlisted the aid of [bought] 13 corrections officers to smuggle cell phones and drugs into the facility.
3. Impregnated four female corrections officer! As a potential cellmate of the well-connected and apparently well-endowed Commander Booty Master, I would like to thank Maryland corrections officials for providing uniformed semen dumps for potential prison rapists and encourage the policy to continue.
4. Commander Booty Master himself alleged in his plea that many additional corrections officers were involved in drug trafficking and sex with other inmates.
5. He joined the Black Gorilla Family as a lieutenant in 2000 and was promoted to commander in 2011.
6. Commander Booty Master was convicted of another murder charge in the 1990s.
7. Reliable sources inform me that the Black Gorilla Family had a young male relative of our city Matriarch [mayor] assassinated, using a cell phone provided by corrections officers.
According to wiretap sources Commander Booty Master had this to say about his accommodations, “This is my jail. You understand that? I’m dead serious.”
I will do my Harm City best to keep our readers abreast of Black Gorilla Family activity.
James, 7/17/13
