“The quality of the food was in direct proportion to the quality of the ceiling tile.”

-Andrew “Webstar” Metzger, on Santoni’s Market

Basically the meat crew was the security team. The shit I saw there was just unbelievable—twenty years of it. The meat case faced the drug aisle, which we called the “Shooting Gallery” because dopefiends would load up or shoot up, right there on the spot.

This one dude had fifteen warrants on him. It took the whole crew to take him down.

This other guy pulls a knife on me and I’m like, “Take what you want. You need me to get you something else, some steak maybe? It ain’t worth all that.”

We used to have prostitutes doing Johns in the bathroom. We went back there to make this hooker and her customer leave and he’s like, “Hell no, I already paid for this, I’m getting mine.”

Bill looks at me and says, “You mean we have to pry them apart?” and this guy is going at it right in front of it—you could smell it. I just said, “Hurry up, would yah, pal,” and stepped out to get some fresh air.

I could tell you some shit about that store if I had some time. These guys out in the County have no idea how good they have it. Probably the craziest thing I saw was this one hooker, about 65-years-old, white broad. The brothers will nail anything if its white—she had a niche market, I suppose. She buys this pack of pantyhose. I’m leaving right behind her, done work for the day and I suppose her shift was just beginning. I come out the front door and she’s standing there with her dress up around her stomach—no underwear on—and she’s putting these panty hose on, on the store front, on Lombard Street [a Primary Street]!

I said, “Hey, you can’t do that! What the hell are you going?”

She just looked at me while she’s pulling on the hose and says, “Hell, it’s for sale, ain’t it?”

What a world this is!