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The Inequity of Faeries
Vee on Losing Teeth
© 2016 James LaFond
OCT/20/16
When I was little my father told me to put my teeth under the pillow and the Tooth Faerie would leave me money—so I was like, “Heck yeah!”—even pulled out a couple before they were ready. A little loose, here we go, two dollars!
This one time I bled a whole lot, did the string pull on the doorknob. I was kind of miffed when I found out you only got this one set you could cash in and that you didn’t get money for losing the next set.
But miracles never cease when you believe. I was staying with my Grandma one weekend and a tooth fell out. I was freaking out, like, “Does the Tooth Faerie know I’m spending the night? Will I be penalized if I save this tooth and put it under my pillow at home? Will the Tooth Faerie think I’m stealing teeth or something?”
My Grandma though, was really cool, calmed me down, had me put the tooth under the pillow and said everything would be alright. Then, the next morning, I wake up and there’s a ten dollar bill under the pillow!
I was like, “Hell, yes! The Tooth Faerie on this side of the bridge has got bank!”
Of course, it stood to reason that there were multiple tooth faeries.
Oh, I never lost another tooth at home again. I timed it and wiggled them loose when I was at Grandma’s. I hope my Dad—in retrospect—wasn’t offended, when I told him what a cheap-ass the Tooth Faerie on our side of the bridge was.
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