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Skunk-Weed City
Uber Joe on Driving in and Around Harm City
© 2016 James LaFond
OCT/26/16
I keep it on the Q-T with the wife and mother and law. But most of my income comes from driving in Baltimore City.
What a place.
Never gas up there.
It’s like going into Atlanta in the first season of The Walking Dead.
Harford and Northern Parkway is probably the scariest corner. Those dudes are always out looking around so I try and time the light so I don’t have to wait in traffic—especially after dark. The entire intersection smells like skunk-weed [pot]. It just reeks! Hits you in the face when you come around the corner. My passengers will never get off there. I haven’t seen a cop there yet.
That run from Towson Town Center to Middle River/Essex, I do at least eight times a day. Those people all used to be us riders and the cabs are too expensive—fifty bucks to get from Towson to Essex.
You’re nuts for being the only white guy on Northern parkway at night. The homeboys won’t even catch that bus anymore. They probably think you’re a serial killer or a homeless guy.
In Baltimore you see people walking round smoking blunts [hallowed out and pot-filled favored cigars] all the time. Ladies will be standing in front of the nail salon smoking a blunt. Home boys will be standing om the corner smoking a bunt. School kids will be walking along with their backpacks on smoking a blunt?
Holy God!
Did Satan build this city?
[No, but it is said among the dark folk that he lives on White Avenue.]
Yesterday—get this—I’m downtown at the Inner Harbor, dropping off a customer at the Federal Building—there must be two-hundred cops in this building from all kinds of agencies—there are even cops walking corner beats—and this guy is smoking a joint right by the courthouse door! If you would have told me this happened, I would not belie it!
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Sam J.     Oct 27, 2016

"...Federal Building—there must be two-hundred cops in this building from all kinds of agencies—there are even cops walking corner beats—and this guy is smoking a joint right by the courthouse door!..."

I got it. You remember Giuliani's theory of New York crime, "The broken windows theory". That if you let small crimes go the more horrible ones will be more frequent and that if you stop the small ones the more horrible ones will be less?

Baltimore is trying out the "broken building theory". If you don't prosecute any crimes sooner or later the buildings will crumble into dust. No buildings, no people, no people, no crime. It's brilliant! I think they're copying it from Detroit where it's worked wonders. Fairly soon they'll be no people or crime in Detroit.
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