Uber Joe gave me a discount if I went through the car wash with him, informing me that he got better ratings from clients when his car was clean.
Uber Joe: I see you have a flip phone. You know those are being phased out. I’m even surprised you could get one. They’ll all be outlawed by 2019. The reason given is that drug dealers use them. It will be the same rationale—the drug war—that will eventually be used to outlaw cash. So, Mister LaFond, when they outlaw your flip phone and smart phones become mandatory, what are you going to do?
James: I won’t have a phone. I’ll go off the grid except for doing web posts.
Uber Joe: What?! Are you crazy? You can’t live like that?
James: I lived like that for forty-three years. It will be nice to go out with a forgotten notion of serenity.
Uber Joe: You know you’re nuts, don’t you?
James: That is the standard narrative.
Under the God of Things
Actually the flip phones won't be outlawed, they just won't work anymore. By 2019 all the networks will be changed so that they will no longer accept signals from flip phones. Same thing happened to me. My prepaid service updated its network so I had to ditch my flip phone and buy a smart phone. There are advantages to smart phones beyond calling Uber. For one you can make use of public Wi-Fi connections to save on your minutes. For another you can use them to conduct surveillance of your home while you are away and trigger the booby traps. LOL! Just Kidding! But point taken about the war on drugs being used as a rationale to limit our choices. Yes, smart phones do make it easier for the authorities to locate callers (and even monitor their conversations) than with flip phones. This is undoubtedly a big part of the motivation for the upgrade. That and wanting to thwart terrorists. Therefore we may as well legalize all drug use. Originally the use of narcotic and mind-altering drugs was outlawed for fear that if the public was allowed unfettered access to them too many people would became stupid and lazy and engage in anti-social behavior. But I guess that horse got out of the barn long ago, eh? No sense in accepting further restrictions on our freedom in support of a conflict we have already lost. The lesson we learn from the experience of Japan and South Korea is that the best way to prevent Muslim terrorism from occurring is to restrict Muslim immigration into your country. No Muslims equals no Muslim terrorism.