Every warrior society has its shaman, soothsayer, wise man, or witchdoctor to consult before going on a quest. It’s no different for the Park Heights crew. Three innocent, unarmed youth find themselves in need of a white Christmas. The only problem is, them white people just keep moving farther and farther away. So, once the boyz tool up with razors and guns—still unarmed, don’t you know—to go hunting for their mamma’s Christmas scrimp feast, they find themselves in need of wisdom:

Snickarius – 14 young-ass years old, tall and lanky with two razors stolen from each of his sisters’ wigs, is ready to hunt whitey but don’t know where he’s at.

Jamalabad – in possession of an ancient, rusty .38 special with an electrical tape cylinder and a broken hammer is nevertheless ready to pistol whip his way to family fame; he too, at 13 years of age hasn’t seen a single white person on foot since he went to the state fair to watch that horse poop.

Every crew has to have a leader, and this crew has SamJai, who’s convinced that the answer is to go bank a Jew. To get his plan of action okayed by the neighborhood patriarch is as simple as buying a miniature of Smirnoff and handing it to the wheel chair-bound man who is the brain trust of Lower Park Heights. Who better to advise the crew as to their raid up into Jew Town than Broke-Ass Rasheed?

1. The Sorrow of Broke-Ass Rasheed

2. The Seven Shades of Rasheed

3. All That Glitters is Bold

4. What’s in the Bag

5. I’m Too Goddamn Old

For the back story, read Broke-Ass Rasheed for last year's White Christmas tale.