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The Devil Dresses Like a Fried Chicken Salesman
Wassup? & It's a Deal by J.T.C.
© 2013 James LaFond
I have recently been the beneficiary of more literary missionary efforts. Two more flip comics have fallen into my skeptical paws. I find that I like these things largely because they are so politically incorrect. If any of my readers know about the origin and author of these mini-masterpieces please comment below.
Wassup? Is the story of a black iron worker who is literally pushed to his death by the Grim Reaper for not believing in God. Charlie feels himself burning with hellfire even as he expires before his fellow hardhats. A thousand years later, after quite a stint in Hell, he is informed by a black angel with a #4 haircut that he is due for final judgment. Unfortunately, even after groveling before a ghostly white faceless God, Charlie the long dead hardhat than exclaims, ‘I don’t believe it’ and is damned for eternity on semantic grounds.
In case there was any doubt that God was a white republican, the Good Lord personally curses and tosses Charlie back into The Pit himself even after the mortal’s sorrowful confession. I really like that God is a hands on deity in this issue: an omnipotent universal consciousness that takes time to deal with a mere tradesman. This Christian God would have appealed to the Flavian dynasts of Rome.
It’s A Deal is about a cruel little black boy named Denzel who laughs at a funeral and then makes a deal with a dapper kind of black Devil who looks exactly like my former supermarket co-manager, and is dressed just like a Kentucky Colonel. Denzel sells his soul to be a basketball star [Really, there was another option, like what?]. As soon as he goes up for the draft he is stricken with a fast acting illness and is given 24 hours to live!
Fortunately Denzel is on the fast track to God since his daddy is a preacher. Just as he is ready to pass his daddy informs him that he made a bogus deal, because The Devil already had his soul. Now wise to The Devil’s double-dealing, Denzel then accepts Jesus with his last breath and goes up to Heaven. At the crucial moment J.T.C. goes to his strength with a compact version of his standard lightning-lit midnight crucifixion. I bet Mel Gibson reads these comics while he gets drunk. The comic ends with The Devil waiving to the reader with a disclaimer below his smiling face.
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