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Harm City’s Plantation Master is Back
The Premier of The People’s Republic Of Maryland Wants More Baltimore Arrests
© 2013 James LaFond
The Irish-American politician who formerly served as the Harm City Plantation Master, now the Maryland Premier [and currently aspires to either be an AARP underwear model or next Tyrant of the American Empire], attacked his former House Mistress in the press this past Wednesday. Former Mayor O’Mick is not angry with current Mayor O’Mamma because the iced-tea was not cold enough, but because her police officers are not locking up enough Baltimoreans.
For her part, Mayor O’Mamma decried now Governor O’Mick for his State Troopers permitting so many guns to be shipped into Baltimore. Also, some rich boy politician threw in his two Harford County cents by reminding the O’Mick administration that it was a state-run corrections facility in which Black Gorilla Family members have impregnated numerous corrections employees, continue to run a drug smuggling operation, and successfully ordered the assassination of one of Mayor O’Mamma’s male relatives.
What is really at issue here?
Former Mayor O’Mick champions a New York style crime policy where people suspected of minor crimes like open container, loitering, possession, littering, and jaywalking will be locked up pending. Current Mayor O’Mamma seems to want the federal and state crime-fighting armies to take the problem off her hands. O’Mick’s administration famously had 1 out of every 6 Baltimoreans locked up in one year! That is 100,000 hood rats in a handful of shopping mall sized cages!
What are the effects of locking up every drunk, pothead, bum, back-talker, junkie, crack-head, shoplifter, and unlucky bastard who forget to update his I.D., or doesn’t have two dollars in his pocket to avoid a vagrancy arrest?
The Upside
1. It creates a big filter for finding screw-up criminals who do stupid shit in between important crimes.
2. This same big filter nets some occasional wanted felons.
3. This policy nets more gun confiscations.
4. It takes stupid people prone to do stupid shit off the streets, making Mayor O’Mick’s dining experience more palatable, as there are fewer lowlifes lining the sidewalk of his favorite urban eateries. [I have eaten one table over from this reprehensible scumbag at Egyptian Pizza in Charles Village. I was dining with a young lady who was just using me for sex, and he was dining with his wife and some law enforcement goon who kept glaring at my long-haired self for being with a woman who he seemed to think should have been his sexual property…]
5. This accustoms the lower classes to incarceration and lets them know that the penalty for minor disobedience will be to be caged with violent psychopaths and packs of same-sex gang rapists, thereby conditioning the servile classes to be more pliant, and helping build the relative power of the elite and their puppet state.
6. This increases the number of uncharged and un-convicted criminals, who have never-the-less convicted crimes, who are, if ever-so-briefly, punished without recourse to the cumbersome legal process. Preventing T-Dog from watching the latest Floyd Money fight, and having to settle for whooping some ass in the joint his own self while he smokes colon-smuggled defecated dope instead of pure Mexican import for a weekend, is surely worth my tax dollars.
7. Career criminals, who are not currently wanted, but are a menace to society, may be taken off the streets for the weekend for dropping their cigarette wrapper on the sidewalk, making the streets that much safer.
8. Known gang operatives, who are currently free of bench warrants, charges, or suspicion, but who you just know are cooking up some mischief [or crack] may be placed into confinement with rival gangsters who will rape, beat and kill them, saving the police some grunt work.
9. This policy assures a revolving door of low level street criminals through the system, where they may be used as messengers by the imprisoned crime bosses. This facilitates ease of operation for prison-based gangs. To the neophyte this may seem a bad thing. But as the CIA discovered in Mexico, by supplying one cartel with three trailer loads of machine guns, it is preferable to battle only one criminal cartel to a bunch of lesser ones. If the gang bosses can more effectively operate from the corrections system thanks to additional temporary staff, than there will be fewer bloody turf wars among up and coming gangs trying to fill the void on the street.
10. Just plain idiots, with no life skills, who are swept up in this dragnet, may now learn a useful trade. As soon as they are jumped in or intimidated or raped by the regulars and gang soldiers, they will now be taken under the wing of some hardened thugs and taught useful criminal skills that may be employed on the outside.
11. All of those illiterates who cannot read ‘do not loiter’ signs because their public schools had no books, will now have the opportunity to use the amply stocked corrections center library.
12. The crime stats will begin to look better. And with this impressive number of arrests being reported, the police officials will have a smoke screen from behind which they can ‘juke’ the numbers; down-grading robbery to battery, and rape to assault, etc. This will give the servile class a greater sense of collective justice and security, which will certainly render them more manageable.
The Downside
1. This makes major crimes harder to solve as it ties up the grunt cops needed to assist detectives.
2. This increases smuggling opportunities.
3. Occasionally, some completely innocent person will be swept up in this misdemeanor dragnet and have his life ruined. But really, who cares?
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Adam Swinder     Sep 28, 2013

Having grown up and lived through O'Mick's reign of terror, I had been a child and hadn't even realized it was that bad. Holy cow, welcome to the Narco-Police State!
James     Sep 28, 2013

A lot of the folks in your parent's generation who could not afford to flee to Harford County with the 400,000 people who did between 1980 and 2010, bought cars for in-city transportation, because the busses became so unsafe up until 3 years ago. In my parent's time many working class and middle class Baltimoreans did without cars and took a rental for vacations. In the early 1990s people were being executed on busses. I don't think O'Mick made it any worse or any better. He and the rest of his ilk are nothing more than a blame-laying credit-taking figureheads.
oli     Oct 2, 2013

A few years back, the O'Mick hotel had a 'groupon' for free stays for those who suffered from melanism or "revitaligo". As a victim of this, I took advantage(although I don't quite remember setting up the reservation). I did, however, appreciate the free stay, but the accommodations were nothing to write home about. It was small, the bell hops were rude and aggressive, and worst of all they were overbooked so they stuck another guest in my room. Fortunately, i didn't win the raffle for the extended stay and I wondered why I didn't ignore the last invite to the hotel as I did so many times before when I was approached by employees(they call themselves troopers) of the O'Mick. I left them a scathing review on the bbb site.
James     Oct 2, 2013

I dare say Sir, that you seem a man well-traveled. Please, if you find yourself sampling the hospitality of any more exotic locales, such the $167, 731 dollar per stay hotels run by the NYC Hospitality Council, I would like a review. I am curious you know, and my regressive Neanderthal genes have generally kept me off the guest list.
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