Jacking off, especially in parliament, or when grovelling to Asian political leaders, is the national practice of Australian politicians. The media too, jack us all off every night. But, as always, there is hope from the great US of A:

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A bill has been introduced by Texas state legislator, Representative Jessica Farrar (D-Houston), which would impose a $100 fine for “masturbatory emissions” that take place outside a woman’s vagina or a hospital. The bill defines such actions as “an act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life.” Farrar’s bill is in response to laws restricting the most sacred tenant of feminism, that abortion is an absolute good, and universal human right:

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Doctors would be required to perform a “medically-unnecessary digital rectal exam” and an MRI before prescribing Viagra or performing colonoscopies. Ok, what else is new? But doctor, is it necessary to examine my rectum, without gloves, when the pain is in my ear?

All this is supposed to be satire, but it would probably be a good thing to take it seriously and ban wanking. Roll out the wanking police, or just import them from Australia.

Have a look at the Australian parliament and politicians, young man yanking on your stalk! Do you want to grow up to be a real man with hair on your balls, or be like, like, like this….

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