Since late last month, deep in the bowels of Harm City, the Harm City Police Department has concentrated on breaking up the Black Gorilla Family. It is said this is because the Black Gorilla Family have been meeting in community parks, that they are in the sights of the FBI, and because they engage in crime as a matter of course. Others say that this attention is due to the fact that one of their incarcerated commanders arranged for the assassination of a male relative of Mayor O’Mamma, and that he impregnated four female corrections officers, thereby occupying—in a biblical way—a like number of Harm City PD ‘gun racks’.

Just as a mid-summer sweep earlier this year against deep ghetto BGF territory drove violent criminals into surrounding communities, the latest anti-BGF initiatives have pushed violent crime into these same zones, which seem to be less heavily policed during major anti-BGF initiatives.

The most recent development, and the brilliant Harm City PD counterstroke, happened this week in my slice of the ghetto. Back in the early 1990s retail stickup artists who favored the shotgun were taking down supermarket cash rooms at a rate of two per week. Apparently their progeny has come of age. The dollar store I shop at was hit by shotgun-wielding bandits a few days back. The information I got from the shell-shocked cashier did not include the day, only that it was an early morning hit.

Knowing that my other shopping spot, Fort Hood Rat, would likely be next on the hit list if these guys were as unimaginative as their predecessors, I schlepped on down the road to speak with one of their security men. Surely the cops had approached him, had briefed him, had reminded him to report suspicious activity.

The cops had approached him shortly after the armed robbery up the street. They had something else in mind though. One of the dope-fiends, that he has become notorious for ejecting from the property, accused him of trafficking in bootleg DVDs out of his car. That was enough for the cops, who arrested him on the job, leaving the store—which the police decline to protect in favor of the doughnut and coffee-dispensing convenience store down the street—temporarily unprotected.

There is no expectation that this unarmed security guard could do anything to thwart an armed robbery. He defends against lesser crimes and is charged with making sure his coworkers behave in the most survivable fashion, if it does come down to a robbery.

Here’s to the upcoming winter in the ghetto.