This guy, his name is Darrel [dancing with a barstool, singing with the yawning draw of a brain-damaged stoner, playing air guitar] I was in here one night, sitting right here and there was a couple right here. [Darrel is spinning on the bar stool as we speak, singing and pointing to God] The guy and the girl—he was a marine from Iraq, just got out. She was right nice looking and he looks like he’s got no problem handling himself and they’re fighting and she’s crying and the fool on the stool, he keeps consoling her and the boyfriend tells the fool on the stool to stay the fuck away from his old lady. Which he does.

And this goes on and fool on the stool comes back for round two and the boyfriend tells him again, “I’m fucking telling you, stay away from my old lady.”

There is no music playing and there are just a few older guys over here and I’m keeping an eye on this, because I know where this is going—just good ole Baltimore entertainment.

Well, she still cryin’. And he comes back and the marine takes his open hand and hits him on the side of the head and he flies off the bar stool like a paper plane right over the pool table right there.

He gets up and he’s crying, tears down the face and Terry [the bar owner] says to him, “Did you learn a lesson?”

So he comes down there and sits next to me and thinks I’m going to offer him some protection and he’s cryin’ that he can’t believe someone would hit him and I told him, “The man told you to stay away from his woman. A lot of real men don’t want you fuckin’ with their woman.”

You don’t fuck with somebody’s woman unless you’re ready to throw down. I was taught this when I was a kid. I guess lessons are learned better late than never.

In Baltimore you see some crazy stuff.

A good old movie called The Hitter filmed in Baltimore, starring Ron O’Neal. You over see that?