“When a woman takes her shirt off you don’t want to see a man’s physique.”
-Big Ron
I do like a nice set of tits. Can’t never go wrong with a nice set of tits. If she doesn’t, I’m still open to her.
Scientific Breakdown of Big Ron’s Chronological Harem:
The Brain of Big Ron was probed, while being irrigated with a 5.5% alcohol solution, at The Raven Inn, where he was subjected to brutal interrogation by his pushy biographer.
Itty Bitty Titty Comitte?: Raisins to Plums
Not much time here. I’d say under 5%
Nice Little Tits?: Peaches to Pears
I’d say 10-15 percent. Gotta give a girl a chance. She might hit a growth spurt as she matures.
Big Titty Bitches?: Cantaloupes and Melons to Pumpkins
They’re taking 80% of Big Ron’s business.
I always liked big tits and big asses.
It’s a crap shoot with a skinny woman. A lot of things could go wrong with little bitches.
Some of the pitfalls of banging skinny bitches?
Generally, they're the ones that stab a knife in your kidneys when things go wrong. The girls with the tits and ass have—might—punch you in the mouth or throw you down the stairs while you’re drunk, but when things really go wrong, it’s the skinny bitch that’s going to do you in.
The biographer shivers as if with a ghastly ague, and finishes his beer in one gulp, remembering how rightly one should fear the wrath skinny bitches.
The skinny bitches I’ve dealt with I’ve been able to head off at the pass. But I’ve seen other guys go through it and I’m a big believer in learning from other people’s mistakes. Besides the big titty bitches have that maternal instinct to nurture all spilling out.
This old man I worked with, his son lived over there in Parkville. He would go out and drink—didn’t really cheat on his wife, never hit her. He comes home drunk, standing in front of the kitchen sink and she stabs him three times in the back. He lost use of his lung and had to move in with his father. That’s a problem with this type of woman. She was a nice Olive Oil lookin’ woman. She’s sitting in prison now. If that was a nice big titty woman, she would have just slapped him around a little bit and hey would have woke up and got some breakfast.
She got a couple years in prison—they wound up getting divorced over this and he cannot sell that house without splitting it with her. That’s his wife and even though she’s sitting in prison collecting dust for tearing half his chest cavity out with a knife from behind and he’s still got to split that house with her. His father was that old plasterer I worked with down the Edgar Allen Poe House. He had eaten something and was washing his plate at the sink and she came up behind him and shanked him, She called 911, sobing, sayin’ it wasn’t her fault while he’s spewing blood out of his chest. They seem to have seen it that way in court. If I stabbed a woman from behind like that they’d throw away the key.
On Bitches
link › jameslafond.blogspot.com
Your Trojan Whorse
