Saturday morning, July 22,2017, in a Baltimore City supermarket, a Harm City standout began intensive training for the World Felony League, which will hopefully rise to challenge the disingenuous NFL. The employees at the Mondawmin Shoppers, touch stone of the landmark Justice Sacrifice for Frederick Gray, are calling this fastest of Open Challenge Looters, Old Spice Bolt, as he stuffed over thirty sticks of deodorant in his unseasonable, hooded training attire and bolted for the door, outpacing his pursuers.

Our hero did not have to run past the cop checkpoint as the cop showed up a half hour late to man his post. However, his speed was such that he is a 3-1favorite for making his escape, even with a cop in blocking position.

Not only do the Harm City Hoodrats have the best shooting to killing ration in this great nation they are quick fielding the fasted Open Challenge Looter team in the WFL!

You heard it first here, from the Harm City news desk.

Old Spice Bolt has been back training everyday, loading up blatantly in front of security and bolting for the door. Unfortunately, the kill-joy staff locked our hero in, on this tragic Tuesday morning.